Post # 1
I’m really struggling here not to be a bridezilla. I’m trying to let things roll. But I’m finding this hurtful and I don’t understand it. Maybe bees can help me feel better.
MIL is hosting the rehearsal dinner at her house. Not formal but she is putting quite a bit of effort and thought into it. The dinner starts at 6pm though we could delay serving food for a little while.
OOT relatives on my Dad’s side arrive at 630 and more arrive at 730. The later arrivals plan to rent a car. All are invited to the rehearsal dinner.
My dad’s current plan is to pick up the early OOT arrival (who is on her own) and then WAIT at the airport for the others (who are a couple), meaning he wouldn’t make his way to the rehearsal dinner until at least 830pm.
His only comment is that they will drop in after the airport pickup and ‘say hello’
I’ve considered contacting my aunt and uncle separately to see if they could tell him they will be fine, but I don’t want to go overboard.
Should I just let this go? I’m really disappointed my dad would miss this.
Post # 3
Have you expressed to your dad that you really want him there?
Post # 4
I would let it go. Maybe hes just trying to be really helpful of th OOT family. as long as he will be there on the big day, then id let it go
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Just tell him- “Dad, I really want you there- this is important to me. Aunt & Uncle can make it on their own.”
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
I would call the aunt & uncle– I’m assuming it’s his side of the damily? He’s probably trying to be a good relative & honestly, the idea of a long dinner party probably doesn’t sound like a lot of fun to him– it’s nothing personal, but I know my FFIL would rather have dental work without novicane than sit through a big family dinner for ANY reason.
Post # 7
I don’t see any reason to be hurt. Your dad is trying to be helpful for his family members and probably doesn’t think of the rehearsal as something that’s super important (and in all fairness, it sounds like casual event at your MILs home). If you really want him to be there, just tell him. Perhaps he can arrange for a car service for the family members to your MIL’s home?
Post # 8
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I went through a very very very similar thing, but with my ILs. So I kept my mouth shut, but DH was really upset and ended up saying something to his parents. About how by not attending the RD = not supporting him and disrespecting my family (who were hosting the RD and the wedding). So I wouldn’t say anything to your aunt and uncle, but I would try to explain to your dad why his attendance at the RD is important to you.
Post # 9
Thank you all for the comments. I did try to express to my dad that it is important to be there (for me). And I told him a few times that there is no reason aunt and uncle can’t make their own way to the party. I was trying to figure out why this is so important to me and I think it is the same as @yellowshoe – it feels like he is disrepecting my new in-laws. She is putting a lot of effort in and he’d rather hang out at the airport to wait for two grown adults.
my sister thinks it is maybe because my mom will be there and yes, he’d rather have dental work than be in the same room as my mom…I just feel like he will be missing out of an important piece of my wedding.