(Closed) Dad has 3-6 months to live; wedding is in 5 months

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have seen it done where A woman was diagnosis with Cancer and was not able to make it to the wedding and her Daughter had a laptop set up at her hospice to Skype the entire wedding and reception so she didnt miss anything. They lived closer than you did so the next day, they got redressed and went to the hospice to have some photos taken with her

 

I hope this somehow helps…Prayers up

 

Post # 48
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would say have another ceremony that is ASAP and keep the other date. Have a small church ceremony with your family only where he lives. Yes you will already be married when you have the big one but you will be without regrets. Also you could have a table with the first ceremony pics with your dad in his honor at the July wedding. It would be a real gift to him but also to yourself.

Post # 48
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would say have another ceremony that is ASAP and keep the other date. Have a small church ceremony with your family only where he lives. Yes you will already be married when you have the big one but you will be without regrets. Also you could have a table with the first ceremony pics with your dad in his honor at the July wedding. It would be a real gift to him but also to yourself.

Post # 49
Member
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@sienna76:  First off, I’m so sorry to hear you’re going thru this.

I got engaged in Sept, while my dad was battling Leukemia. He’d had a stem cell transplant and everything was looking great. I planned my wedding for this coming Sept and we all thought he’d be there. All of a sudden at the end of Oct. he took a turn for the worse. He went into the hospital on a Friday and passed away that Sunday.

If I’d had any idea this was goking to happen, I woulde have had just a small ceremony with him there and then had my big wedding this year for everyone else. I’d do anything to have been able for my dad to see me get married.

Would that be a possibility? Just do something really small where he is, even a courthouse wedding so he’s there and then still have your other ceremony as you’ve planned? And who knows, maybe he’ll get to see both!

P.S. I’m in Indy if you need any info on places if you do take that route!

Post # 50
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@sienna76:  So sorry for you and your family. I’m in a similar spot. Wedding is on may 19 my fi father was just given 3-7 months gallbladder cancer. The wedding isn’t as much the issue as its one day, my problem is the honeymoon. This is a second one for the both of us. It’s not a typical long island weddingCmore of a party.  We have planned a cross country drive to las Vegas with many stops going and coming. A week in Vegas, where I purchaspc front row seats to three different shows all non refundable. Everyone tells us go including her dad and mom. I feel so uneasy about even talking about it in front of her. He says hell be mad if we don’t go. My future bride says she will need to go and get her mind off of what’s happening. My fear is he dies will in route or when we are there.  We both went through bad divorces and were so looking forward to this vacation, but I also fear that her head won’t be in it now or after. Sux

Post # 53
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@sienna76:  I read your update. It so hard to go on with this always in the back of your mind. My future bride is a nurse in a unit where people die every day. Her dad is 76, young by today’s standards but has lead a good life. Timing is aweful. I asked her to move it all up bc her dad has no symptoms yet. She says that will stress her further. I feel like I’m waiting for it to all fall apart. I wanted to also wait till next year, they all said no. It’s like it doesn’t matter what I want. We both have kids and money us tight. I pay alot to child support and we both feel like its now or never. So confused 

Post # 54
Member
5229 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I would probably stick to the original plans but as soon as possible have a small ceremony with your dad there. It might seems weird to get married twice, but this is pretty common with people in your unfortunate situation. Just have a small, short, intimate ceremony so he can be there, and hopeful come the big wedding day, he’ll be there for you again.

Post # 55
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@mrsSonthebeach:  It’s not really the ceremony. We were both married before did the traditional BS. Church everything. Both marriages failed. We wanted this to be the way we wanted now. It’s not about him walking her down the isle. She has a daughter that will. My son and daughter are my “best man and woman”. We planned a las Vegas themed party including tables, gambling, slot machine prizes dancing, making hall like a casino, I made a costume light up las Vegas sign… we told everyone dress in casino club wear. Im just venting that it’s all gone to crap. Two week honeymoon maynot ever happen. I dont care what I’m told, honeymoon is right after wedding, you don’t get the same feeling a year or two later. 

Post # 56
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I am so sorry to read that you are going through this. I know it’s hard.

 

My dad has esophageal cancer too. He is stage 4 and just started chemo and radiation and will have surgery when those are done. We are not getting married until April, 2013, but I refuse to believe that my Daddy won’t be around to offciate.

I don’t really have any advice for you, but I can certainly cry and empathize with you. Your post really brings it home for me.

Post # 58
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@sienna76:  We talked about moving it up. It’s really hard though. I have two kids, she has one. We are balancing all their activities and when we planned the wedding and honeymoon it gave us the most time away and least time Away from the kids. Second time around with kids is alittle more delicate. We plan no more kids so we try to make there time with us special. Paugey I’m an too very sorry toHerat what you and your family must go through especially your dad.  Here’s some irony, our wedding invite are going out next week. To add to the casino theme they are playing cards that say ” rolling the dice on love again” didn’t figure we were rolling the dice on honeymoon. 

Post # 60
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@sienna76: right now wedding is on for may 19th. And leaving for las Vegas on the 20th. Her dad goes to oncologist Monday, and more then likely start palliative treatment the next week. Just playing it all by ear. Hey. Thanks for listen. I know there’s no easy answer just makes me sad for everyone here dealing with the same stuff when it’s supposed to be a happy time. Im hopingthwart the wedding 8 weeks away, ahone will be back from the honeymoon within ten weeks won’t make a difference in what’s going on. I’ve read some go really fast from this cancer without treatment others, very few, can go for alittle over a year. 

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