(Closed) Dad might not make it to my wedding- would appreciate any advice

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
1275 posts
Bumble bee

Im so sorry, this is a horrible situation to be in, for you and your dad. Firstly, it is definitely not selfish of you to have a nurse see your dad for the day! It would make you all feel that much better knowing he is getting special care when he needs it. Secondly I dont think you should cancel the wedding but is it possible (if you wanted) to have a quick private ceremony with just your immediate families before the wedding (even within this week)? That way your dad will have seen you get married if he cant make your wedding day. Then have a symbolic ceremony on the day (no other changes). Or even just a symbolic ceremony infront of your parents just so that he can witness the two of you exchanging vows? Then have the wedding as planned. If he is able to make both that is great but if not then at least he will have witnessed the vow exchange and you will have special memories of the intimate ceremony he was able to be involved in. Im sorry that I have no other advice, I hope your wedding is amazing and that your dad will be there to witness it!

Post # 4
1275 posts
Bumble bee

Thats completely understandable for him. I also just had the thought whilst skyping my parents, if he is mentally okay otherwise but can’t physically attend the ceremony on the day is there any way you could set skype up for him to be able to watch from the front row? Of course its not comparable to him being there himself but I know a friend who did this at their graduation for their grandfather. 

Post # 6
1394 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base

I’m so sorry.  I truly do understand as I just lost my dad this past February.  I personally would leave the entire decision to up to him.  He is the only one that truly knows how he feels.  I did postpone our wedding when we he turned down hospice.  Your situation is very different since your wedding is right around the corner.  I hope you find some peace and comfort with the entire situation.   

Post # 7
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Skype is a good suggestion. My niece used this after her grandfather had a stroke right before her wedding and couldn’t attend, he had a nurse stay with him so that her grandmother could come to the wedding.

So sorry you are going through this, there is no easy alternative and having Dad there on our day is so important to all of us. Yet I’m sure he wouldn’t want you to cancel your wedding. I lost both my parents in my twenties, so hoping my brother will be able to give me away in nine months. However, he also is fighting colon cancer for the third time around and I’m praying he will continue to be well enough.

Post # 10
560 posts
Busy bee

I wish you peace and comfort in this time! How about getting a marriage officiant and taking the wedding to him. Spend the day before with him making his room nice; decorate it with flowers, ribbons and bows. That way you get to spend an entire day with him and share preparing for your special day with him, he can be part of it then. You can then get married in his room next to him while holding his hand. Then have a nurse ready for during and afterwards. All you have to cancel then is the count room ceremony; you can still have the function afterwards. I am sure you would be able to find an officiant on such short notice; you could ask a pastor, reverend or preacher at a local church too. Hope your day will be every bit as special as you want it to be!

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