(Closed) Dad Problems! Please Help!

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Hi date twin….I know the pressure is really on for us with less than a week to go.

First, take a deep breath.  Second, do whatever is going to make you happy. It is your wedding and it is about you and your fiance.

If it were me, I would not change my plan one bit.  I would also call my mother to confront her about it, because I always feel better when things are out in the open instead of people talking about it quietly amongst each other. It is incredibly selfish of her to say anything this close to the wedding.  She had plenty of time to speak up.

I hope you have a lovely and wonderful wedding…just try to enjoy the day.


Post # 4
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Stick with your plan. I think it’s a great idea and your mom has known about this the entire time. It’s not like you sprung this on her last minute. You’ve paid for the wedding and have done nothing wrong. Hopefully your mom can get over it and will be fine at the wedding!

Post # 5
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with @Sunshine.  I would NOT adjust your vision of your day at all!  From what I’m reading, it kind of sounds like she’s just trying to get some attention by her crying and objecting.  And just like you said, she has known about this for months.

Would you regret NOT having your bio father walk you 1/2 way down?  If so, just remember that and move forward with your plan…which I think it’s very sweet and endearing.

Post # 6
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You know what?  I think you should make her feel bad about it.  This is your day, your money, and her hissyfit is unacceptable.  Lay the guilt trip on, and maybe she’ll wake up and knock it off.

Post # 7
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree with everyone else. Your day, your plan. My parents refuse to be in the same room with one another. I tell them “This is how it’s going to be. You’re both invited, but only if you want to lay your childish, self-centered ego aside. If you can’t deal with one another in the same room on MY day, then I don’t want you there bringing me down.”

Post # 8
46419 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree that your biological father should be involved if you want him to be.

I do not agree that you should be laying on any guilt trips or calling your mother names.

If you put yourself in her position, it may be that the impending wedding has surfaced old, unresolved issues for her.

I would talk with her, acknowledge her feelings, but then make it clear that I do not want to hear any more about this-my decision is made and I need her support to decrease stress prior to and during the wedding.

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