Post # 1
Ok so I’m getting married in less than a week and my mother is having issues with my biological father being apart of my wedding. To give you some back ground information my parents divorced when I was five. She remarried twice over now. So I have a step-father who raised me and is my dad. He will be walking me as well. I met my real dad when I was 21 and we now have a great relationship. It was very important for me to have both of them walk me since they are both such a hugh part of my life. My husband to be loves them both. My real dad is going to walk me half way and then switch off to my other dad. Its only fair my step dad walk me to the alter because he raised me and that should be his job. For a week now my mother has been calling my grandmother crying because my real dad is going to be apart of this. Now we have been engaged since February and she has known about this the entire time but she waits until a week before to get upset. I’m trying to be patient with her but she can be rather selfish sometimes. I have paid for the entire wedding out my savings with no help from her except her paying for my alterations on my wedding gown which she made a big deal about in the dress shop in front of my bridesmaids while I was standing in my wedding gown. I have also asked her to come look at wedding stuff over the past months but she always makes up some excuse. I planned the entire wedding with no help from her. I just don’t know how to handle her. I don’t want to hurt her feelings but can’t believe she is doing this to me with less than a week to go. I have enough stress and don’t know why she would want to add to it. any advice would be appreciated. I don’t know what to do.
Post # 3
Hi date twin….I know the pressure is really on for us with less than a week to go.
First, take a deep breath. Second, do whatever is going to make you happy. It is your wedding and it is about you and your fiance.
If it were me, I would not change my plan one bit. I would also call my mother to confront her about it, because I always feel better when things are out in the open instead of people talking about it quietly amongst each other. It is incredibly selfish of her to say anything this close to the wedding. She had plenty of time to speak up.
I hope you have a lovely and wonderful wedding…just try to enjoy the day.
Post # 4
Stick with your plan. I think it’s a great idea and your mom has known about this the entire time. It’s not like you sprung this on her last minute. You’ve paid for the wedding and have done nothing wrong. Hopefully your mom can get over it and will be fine at the wedding!
Post # 5
I agree with @Sunshine. I would NOT adjust your vision of your day at all! From what I’m reading, it kind of sounds like she’s just trying to get some attention by her crying and objecting. And just like you said, she has known about this for months.
Would you regret NOT having your bio father walk you 1/2 way down? If so, just remember that and move forward with your plan…which I think it’s very sweet and endearing.
Post # 6
You know what? I think you should make her feel bad about it. This is your day, your money, and her hissyfit is unacceptable. Lay the guilt trip on, and maybe she’ll wake up and knock it off.
Post # 7
I agree with everyone else. Your day, your plan. My parents refuse to be in the same room with one another. I tell them “This is how it’s going to be. You’re both invited, but only if you want to lay your childish, self-centered ego aside. If you can’t deal with one another in the same room on MY day, then I don’t want you there bringing me down.”
Post # 8
I agree that your biological father should be involved if you want him to be.
I do not agree that you should be laying on any guilt trips or calling your mother names.
If you put yourself in her position, it may be that the impending wedding has surfaced old, unresolved issues for her.
I would talk with her, acknowledge her feelings, but then make it clear that I do not want to hear any more about this-my decision is made and I need her support to decrease stress prior to and during the wedding.