(Closed) Dad released from prison. Should he come to the wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@To do or not to do:  Ooh, this is a tough situation. Have you talked to your mom about it? What does she say?

Post # 4
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

@To do or not to do:   Have you talked to your father? I think you are the best person to decide if her is capable of attending and not ruining the day.

My sister is not invited. I do not trust that she will behave herself. It was a hard decision but in the end I know my sister better than anyone and I am at peace with my decision.

I think you should talk to you Fiance about it aswell. You dont want secrets coming into the marriage.

Post # 5
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@To do or not to do:  Hey, I can relate somewhat with what you’re saying, my dad’s an alcoholic and I’ve loosely kept in touch over the last 8 years but I mean talking roughly once a year, making the effort to see him and bomb him letting me down again. 

He did come to our engagement party and was fine, but he was under the watchful eye of my uncle, who is only invited to the reception and not the meal. I’m swaying towards not inviting him for my own sake as much as anyone else. I can’t be dealing with worrying about whether he’s going to embarass me or whether he’ll cause arguments with my mum’s family. 

Ultimately it’s your decision but just remember you can’t predict people’s reactions, especially when alcohol is involved. 

Post # 6
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I could understand your situation more if his prison time was more recent, however, I’m a little confused. You mention that you have spent the last 10 years building a relationship with him when he was let out. 10 years is such a long time, isn’t everything all sorted now with the family, you even mentioned your family have said its so old, so why is this still an issue for you?

The right thing to do is tell your Fiance about your family history. I would also invite your Dad to the wedding. Don’t know if you have though about him giving you away, you may need to discuss this with your Mum, it may be appropiate for your Mum to do this.

All sorts of family issues come up for weddings, but on the day most people will act politely due to the occasion and for the sake of the Bride and Groom. Good luck.

Post # 7
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

How to handle the wedding is a tough decision, but you absolutely should be keeping something that is such a major part of your history from your Fiance – the foundation of a good marriage is communication, if you can’t share this with him I think that is a sign of serious concern for your relationship. No need to tell his whole family, but your Fiance should know the truth.

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