Dad said he probably won't come to my wedding (divorced parents)

posted 6 months ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
2041 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t know the answer but do NOT meddle and try to talk to his boss and his wife. He is a grown man, you are not his mum. If he feels too uncomfortable then yes it is sad, but not your place to push him. Sorry bee. 

Post # 3
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2004

I’m sorry you can’t force him to be a part of your life.  I know how much it hurts, I’ve never been a priority for either of my parents.  It’s painful as hell, and easy to make excuses or blame yourself.  The reality is if you were a priority for him, he would not have gone over a decade without seeing you.  ETA, I didn’t mean to sound harsh.  It sounds like you are bending over backward to please him, and this isn’t on you, it’s on him.

Focus on your FI and the people that will be there to love & support you.  

Post # 4
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Sorry this is happening 🙁 I wouldn’t push it if I were you. He is an adult and if he decides not to be present at his daughter’s wedding, he will have to deal with the consequences of his decision.

And you won’t be able to control how your fiance’s family would react to your dad not coming, but what you could do is be in control of your reaction towards any potential judgment. This is between you and your dad, not anyone else.

Could someone at the wedding maybe video call him while the ceremony is happening so he won’t miss out? Or could you live stream it so he could watch it on a computer?

Post # 5
Member
1336 posts
Bumble bee

you have not seen this man since you were 14?! He’s not a good father- he does NOT deserve to be at your wedding! He doesn’t even deserve to be your facebook friend, seriously: Delete him from your friends list! He has never been there for you like a real father should, you deserve so much better. Stop trying to make him happy or make him proud- stop caring at all about what he thinks. Because he doesn’t give a damn about you. You’re worried”he might regret not going? Damn straight he should regret it! He needs to feel pain over abandoning you. He doesn’t deserve your love, he’s just a sperm donor. Please let him go and enjoy your new life, it sounds like your father in law is a good man and will be more than a father to you than this jerk ever was.

Post # 6
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

You’re afraid your FIs family will judge him harshly? He deserves to be judged harshly! its horrible he’s choosing his new wife,  or his feeling uncomfortable, over you and your happiness. 

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