(Closed) Dad upset over Step-Dad’s involvement

posted 10 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 17
2226 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Wow.  I feel like I could have written this post.  It was something that I struggled with during most of my wedding planning.  In fact, I still struggle with it to this day.  I was going to do as you had planned, and have my real dad walk me half way and my step dad the other half.  However, unlike your dad, mine gave me an ultimatum.  He said if that’s how I was going to do it, then he wasn’t going to come.  Things got very ugly (even between him and my brother, who stuck up for me).  I haven’t spoken to him since that day.  He did not get an invitation to my wedding.

Here’s the thing I kept telling myself when I felt like I was making the wrong decision: It’s your wedding.  You have to make (and stick to) the choice that is right for YOU.  It’s not about making anyone else happy (well, maybe your future husband. Smile)  I mean, if you wanted Ronald McDonald to walk you down the aisle, then that’s your choice.  I hope, that for your sake, your real dad comes around and supports your decision.  After all, this is supposed to be a happy time to support you and your fiance and the love you have for eachother.

Best of luck!

Post # 18
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

I think that he’s been stewing over this for the last month.  If he brings it up again, explain that because he’s “blood” you are giving him the courtesy of walking you halfway down the aisle, just like he did for [stepsister].  But you are not changing your mind, because you love [stepdad] too, and you need to consider his feelings in all of this as well.  Tell your dad that you love him and can’t wait to walk with him on your wedding day, but that the order of events isn’t changing.

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