(Closed) Dad vs. Money

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Accept whatever gift he is comfortable giving and pay for the rest yourselves.

Post # 4
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Are you or your Fiance able to contribute anything towards the wedding? If your dad can’t swing the original number he gave you, you either need to cut your guest list or look at your own bank account and see what you can do!

Post # 6
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Long gone are the days where a bride’s father is responsible for the entire wedding.  If he is willing and/or able to help, and offers to do so, accept it graciously but understand as well that he who pays, says.  Money often comes with strings.

I say, it is your wedding, so you should pay for it. 

*note:  I mean “you” as in “you and your FI”, not like YOU and you alone.

Post # 7
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

“Please let me know what you think I should do.”

You should not expect your father to cover your wedding and be grateful for whatever contribution he’s willing to give. Sure, it sucks that he’s going back on his word but if he doesn’t want to spend that much then you have to respect that. This is your wedding so you should have the event that you can afford. Outside contributions should be treated as a bonus.  

Post # 8
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@MissNachoLover:  +1!

Be grateful he’s even helping out. We won’t have that luxury. Neither set of our parents are able to help even a smidgin.

Post # 11
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@charliebear1613:  In all honesty, it’s his money to do with as he pleases. It might be best to come up with a budget that you and your Fiance alone can afford, and if you dad gives you money over and above that, it’s a bonus and a wonderful gift.

Post # 12
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Is the money in hand?  Because he could lower it again or change his mind all together.  Don’t book anything until you do have that gift.

I say plan what you can afford.  If he contributes, use that as a bonus (just in case it falls through – it’s happened on here – a LOT).

If he gives it to you upfront, then contribute the remainder yourselves.

 

Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

What I think you should do is be grateful for what you are given. A lot of people, myself included, have to pay for the entire wedding.

Post # 14
Member
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

i agree be gratefull you have someone giving you money!! Mr and i are paying for OUR wedding ALONE. and thats the way it should be

Post # 15
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

While I agree with everyone that you should be grateful for what you’re given, I also wonder at the circumstances behind your dad changing the amount he will give you.  Perhaps he’s suffered a financial setback you’re not aware of?

I do think that it’s inconsiderate of him to promise you a certain amount of money and back out after you’ve already started planning the wedding based on a certain budget.  But I don’t think there’s much you can do about that.  

Post # 16
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Ms. Salamander:  +1.

I would ask directly. We are receiving an amount from Fiance family, and they said you spend however, but this is the amount. The rest is us. I liked it this way so I didn’t feel guilty for how I spent it.

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