(Closed) Dad-zilla

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
2013 posts
Buzzing bee

shortstop: I would add it all up and then tell him, “Dad, with all the things you have added, the total has now gone up to $XXXX. I know when we first talked about a buget, we had decided on $5,000.00. Are you still play to cover it all?”

Confirm it with him 100% so you don’t risk being stuck with the extra costs. If he says no then say, “Sorry, I know you had your heart set on X, Y, Z, but we simply cannot afford it”.

Post # 3
2146 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

where you PAYING your friends to bartend? seems like you weren’t planning to as this was your idea to save money on ‘unnessacery expences’, if not then that incredably rude, just because they do that for a living doesnt mean they should for you and they should be guests (or if not invited they shouldnt be asked for anything at all) so I can see why he refused and book a paid pro


I would collar him on the food thing and extra lighting costs to make sure he knows he is paying for all these added extras and that you can’t


I get hes being a little annoying by asking lots of question and then not seeming to listen (not that he has too) but you do sound a ungrateful too… he is host so can do anything he wants weather you like it or not (his money, his property) and hanging up on him and constantly nagging him is rude


people forget this is what wedding where traditionally (hosted by the parents) and everyone remember that parents use to pay and still want that but also want their own full hosting wants while listing someone else as host (because apparently in america its rude to host yourself) and it doesnt work like that, thats very entitled honestly – either pay and host yourself and have what you want or do it traditional where your opinion doesnt matter you dont get to pick and mix only the bits that suit you


Post # 5
378 posts
Helper bee

Who signed the contracts with the caterers, the tent/lighting suppliers, the bartender, etc?  If he did, don’t worry about getting stuck with the extra costs.  If YOU did, you’d best be prepared to cover the entire costs because it sounds like he just might “forget” he was paying for anything.

Post # 7
137 posts
Blushing bee

OP- sounds like your dad is interfering and fussing big-time. What the hell is that with inviting a load of business contacts?! His generous offer has come with certain conditions attached, so ensure that he takes full financial responsibility for all these luxuries. 

Keep your expenses as low-key as you’re happy with- having read your post, I’d personally cancel the raw seafood if that’s an option- it’ll only get wasted. And an extra bar-tender sounds unnecessary given you have friends helping and there are only 80 of you.

I went to my friends’ wedding some years ago which was meant to be very low-key and meaningful; MOB-zilla got involved and ended up buying all these waiters and caterers and fancy OTT decor (not my friends’ style at all) and stressing everyone out. MOB invited loads of extra colleagues no-body knew and was really strict with regulating all the guests’ activities (telling us how and where to stand when there weren’t even photos being taken!?)- it really changed the atmosphere. Everyone allowed her to get away with interfering “because she has generously paid”. F*ck that!! No amount of money is worth that.

So i’d say the most important thing is that you can relax with the people you love- if your dad wants to make a party for his buddies, that’s fine for him if he can foot the bill, but make sure you arrange something nice and low-key for you & your fiancé that you’re happy with (beach idea sounds amazing!!). Good luck! 


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