(Closed) Daddy dilemma…. need advice please!!!!

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 3
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t know whether you’re willing to compromise, and I wouldn’t blame you at all if you decided to have your dream wedding. But if you are looking for a compromise, could you have the beach wedding in NC and then a honeymoon in Maui?

Before you decide that, though, I think you should sit down and talk to your dad about his concerns and yours. Maybe he is anxious but willing to fly to be there for you. Either way, you’ll both get a better idea of how the other feels.

Post # 4
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Sunshine805:  I think you flat out need to ask him if he would come. Just say something like, ‘I know you aren’t exactly comfortable flying, but we really have our hearts set on getting married in Maui. If that’s what we choose, would you be there?’ Then you need to decide what to do based on his answer. Maybe tell him how important it is to you for him to be there.

Post # 5
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@iadornyou:  I agree that you just need to have a direct conversation with your dad.  Let him know your concerns, from the heart.  Be honest with him about how much it means to you.  

He can take a little anxiety pill or have a drink ahead of time to relax.  My mom hates to fly, but she flies to see my sister out East twice a year (for the last 5 years).  People are willing to do a lot for the ones they love.  I think he will suprise you, if you give him the chance.  Don’t change the venue until you’ve talked with him, one-on-one.

Post # 6
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I agree with PP’s in that you need to talk to him first before making any decisions.  He might just be willing to take a pill and get on that plane.

I have to say though I know whatyou’re feeling. I didn’t have the ideal daddy either, and I know what it’s like to have them try and make amends for it when you’re all grown up.  It’s hard, because you’re so happy they want to be there now, but you can’t forget the times you were left without them as a child – wishing they were there (every day).

I had a really hard time choosing a song for the father daughter dance for this reason,  They’re all about these dads who are all mushy etc and mine was not like that.  I have a hard time even picking a father’s day card for him.  But yet I love him the most, and worry about his feelings. How strange it is.

Post # 7
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I was giong to say there’s plenty of round trip cruises that go to Maui, but then I realized he’s on the East Coast, so I guess leaving from LA would still involve either a very long drive or a flight. 

I think you really need to ask him if he will get on a plane to attend.  It would suck to give up your dream wedding to accomodate him only to find out that he would have done it.

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