(Closed) Daddy's Permission VS. Daddy's Blessing

posted 7 years ago in Proposals
  • poll: I would prefer...

    My parents' permission

    My parents' blessing

    Neither, he's marrying ME, not my parents!

    Either one!

  • Post # 3
    2684 posts
    Sugar bee

    I think the idea of asking parents for their blessing is really sweet, but their blessing (or lack thereof) would never influence my own decision.  My Fiance didn’t ask my parents at all before he proposed.

    Post # 4
    598 posts
    Busy bee

    A bit of both. I think my fiance said, “can I marry your daughter”? And my dad said, “wow so exciting, congrats!” There was never really a symbolic “yes”

    Post # 5
    1161 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @NinjaWings:  I think the blessing or permission thing can be tied to age & the state of a bride’s relationship with her parents. I’m a bride in my early 20s who happens to still live at home & have a great relationship with my parents. Fiance also has a relationship with them and felt it was necessary to get their blessing. Now if they had said no he probably still would have moved forward, knowing that this is the right decision for us regardless of if they agree. But it was a nice gesture and allowed my dad to feel like “Wow this man respects not only my daughter, but also me enough to include me in this time.” I don’t know if it would have gone down the same way if I were 10 years older and living on my own.

    Post # 6
    1416 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I never would be like “if you didn’t ask my dad I’m going to say no” since I do think it’s silly…but I think it’s sweet that my DH asked for his “blessing”…my DH is fairly traditional (my family is fairly NOT lol), so I’m not surprised that he did, but once I learned that he did I did think it was sweet.

    Post # 7
    192 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    My Fiance and I are relatively young but old fashioned. He asked my parents for their permission (they are religious and old fashioned) and they were delighted that he had chosen to go this route and show his respect for them. They would never have said anything but yes but they really really loved that he did this. He also mainly did for himself. Fiance is very family oriented. 

    Post # 8
    7199 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I’m 34 and living with my SO, so it would be weird for him to ask “permission” but I absolutely expect him to ask for dad’s blessing before asking me to marry him. (I say dad because mom passed away, but if she were alive I’d expect him to ask them together.) It’s really not about anything other than making my dad feel good. He’d like to be included, it’s totally outdated and unnecesary, but so is having him walk me down the aisle and me wearing a veil and carrying flowers… and I’m doing all that! 

    Post # 9
    5493 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    My DH is traditional.  My parents are not.  When my DH asked my dad if he could marry me my dad’s response was along the lines of “well you should ask her, not me.”  haha

    Post # 10
    2375 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    It’s funny, we’re both 31 and my fiance talked to my dad before officially proposing.  Granted, my fiance and I had already picked out the ring and a date at this point, but still.  It was more a statement of intent as opposed to a request for his blessing, but it meant SO much to my dad.  He’s in his 80s and it’s a respect thing.  We already knew they’d be happy about it, and they already knew the date.  But sometimes, a little formality is a good thing.

    Post # 11
    751 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @NinjaWings:  I’m pretty sure if SO went to my dad and asked for a blessing/permission my father would be like -ask her-.

    My dad would not like me to be with someone who feelt they needed his approval to propose. I agree with him, I’ve been a self supporting adult since I was 18 i don’t need anyone’s approval to get married.

    Also I would like my engagement to be a surprise so i wouldn’t want my family to know beforehand.

    Post # 12
    2838 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I don’t know that my dad could have given his blessing if he didn’t approve of the man I was marrying.  I think the two go hand-in-hand.

    Post # 13
    2546 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I made it pretty clear to my Fiance that if he felt the need to ask my parents anything along those lines he obiously wasn’t the right man for me… I’m very independent but was raised in the south so while it’s an expected thing it was something I thought was not for me at all. I love my dad, but he’s got nothing to do with whom I marry.

    I went to an all-girls college so that really didn’t help my inner independent feminist… I think it’s nice when guys still do this, it’s just not for everyone. Literally, I would have been pissed beyond pissed if my Fiance did this…. 

    Post # 15
    11231 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Neither. I am not property to be bartered.

    Post # 16
    4494 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I did not want Fiance to ask my father or parents. I love my parents and we are very close, but it is not their deicision. At all.

    If they support it, great! But if my parents didn’t give their blessing it wouldn’t prevent me from marrying the man of my choice. They’d just have to accept that.

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