Post # 1
And I’m struggling to cope. He was diagnosed yesterday, I was the first person he told. I was ok while on the phone with him because I was busy trying to sort out his insurance and make a doctors appointment in his state (he was diagnosed by a doctor in another state because his GI issues were severe and we couldn’t find a doctor in his state under his insurance that had an open spot until 1/13…)
He met with a primary care doctor here yesterday and they scheduled an 11 am appointment with the oncologist to stage the stomach cancer. And if it’s operatable, that may be happening this afternoon.
My Fiance is currently at work but as soon as he is home (should also be 11 am), we’re driving to the hospital my dad’s going to be at. I feel better knowing Fiance is going to be there with me because while a I want to be strong in front of my dad and mom, I don’t know if I will be able to.
It helps that my dad is being incredibly brave. I asked him how he was feeling after the diagnosis, and he said he wasn’t afraid. That we’ll face whatever it is head on. He sounded ok. I don’t know if he was putting on a front for me. Because I put on one for him too. After we hung up, I cried a lot.
I still am. I fucked up though, I googled stomach cancer statistics. Don’t do that. I’m actually on the couch right now with my two dogs, trying to not look up more on Google. So I’m here instead, back on the Bee.
Two winters ago, my mom had to undergo a hysterectomy because of a cervical cancer scare… after a breast cancer scare that summer. Luckily that breast tumor was benign.
I’m so scared. I don’t really understand why I’m posting this or what I’m looking for. Pity? No. Words of comfort? Maybe. I don’t know??
Post # 2
I’m so sorry for everything you and your family are going through. I have been down this road before with family members and you ARE strong and don’t question your feelings. You are right, stay AWAY from Google; your Dad’s fate is not in there. Trust the doctors, be his advocate when you’re there, and never be afraid to cry. Life is scary but it doesn’t always mean the end. Things that are inoperable, if that does end up being the case, still have many options. Wishing you love and positive vibes.
Post # 3
I am so sorry!!
My dad was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer 2 months ago, went through surgery and is going through chemo now. Message me if you wanna talk!!
Stay away from google and THINK POSITIVE!! I know that’s easier said than done but it does help I believe.
Post # 4
My heart aches for you and your family. Cancer is a C U Next Tuesday (yes I am using that word coz I hate it that much) however it is curable and I’ll be thinking of your father in my thoughts that he gets through this! He WILL get through this, he sounds like an amazing brave man.
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2007 - City, State
thesecondwife : I don’t believe in the whole ‘stay away from google’ idea unless you are the type that freaks out over everything you could read. I like being informed and knowing facts. A lot of the information you can find online about cancer and other statistics is beneficial and educational. Hiding under a rock and ignoring what could happen won’t make the diagnosis go away.
My husband was diagnosed with cancer a year ago December 29th. We are 32. The tumor was removed and he didn’t have to do chemo. His one year scan is in February and I’m hoping everything will be good and he can continue surveillance every 6 months.
It feels like your entire world has fallen out from underneath you. It feels weird and surreal and you have about 5 seconds when you wake up in the morning where you forget it happened before you remember and then you deal with it all over again.
This isn’t the end of the road for your dad but it will be a hard road and it could have many different outcomes. You don’t have to be strong for people, stuffing emotions away is detrimental. Feel your feelings so they don’t bring you down. Cancer is curable and he could come out of this just fine, but the important thing is he wants to fight and he has a support system. Hang in there.
Post # 7
Sorry to hear that bee, it is a devastating bit of news to receive about a parent. Hang in there, hoping for the best for your dad!
Post # 8
I’m so sorry. My best advice is spend all the time with him you can during this time, even if it’s just sitting on the couch together, you will never regret it. Sending love.
Post # 9
thesecondwife : I’m so sorry to hear this. My heart aches for you & your family.
I know just how hard & devastating it is to hear this news about a parent bc my dad also has stomach cancer though his is a rare slow growing type it still really scares me every single day just the same.
Stay away from google & think positive.
Sending you lots of love & hugs bee!
Post # 10
sf618b : Thank you for sharing your story, I really appreciate it. I hope your husband continues to be healthy. It makes me feel hopeful. For now, I will not google more though. Unfortunately, the oncologist today told us we were unable to get him in for his pet scan until next Wednesday and then we’ll know what stage he’s at and if the cancer’s spread. Until then, I won’t worry myself with statistics when I do not yet know his prognosis. But thank you, I will definitely use the power of knowledge to help my dad and advocate for him.
suzana : Thank you very much for your offer, I will definitely take you up on it and message you when I’m home. I appreciate it so much. You have no idea how comforting it is to hear from someone else in a similar predicament and also to be given permission to just think positively.
And to everyone else; thank you so much for commenting and keeping my father in your thoughts. I’m at my parents house right now, dad insisted on going to the grocery store and cooking up a huge meal (he’s a chef!) even though he can’t eat much solid foods right now, he says it makes him happy to cook. And I couldn’t say no so we’re staying for dinner! It was really fun to go grocery shopping with him and seeing his eyes light up at fresh seafood and produce lol.
I’m signing my dad up for some tai chi classes since he expressed some interest, I think it’ll be good for him. And it’ll be with other cancer patients. He’s also said he promises to take it easy and let this time off work be like a “vacation” where he gets to chat with old friends online, haha.
I’m very nervous for next Thursday, we’re moved the meeting with the surgical oncologist until then since that’s the day after the pet scan. My Fiance is going to do his best to attend with me, he’s a surgeon (but a plastic surgeon so he admittedly does not remember much about stomach cancer or even the new chemo available or what’s the new standard of care…) but it’s just nice to have him by my side and asking questions I wouldn’t have thought to ask, like today.
I’m feeling more calm. It’s nice being home with my dad.
I’m also going to a chemotherapy class with him next Monday, to translate and make sure my dad understands what the nurse is saying. I’m nervous, not about the class, but just about staying calm and not crying lol.
Post # 11
laceyjoxo : Wow, Thank you for sharing. Would you mind if I reached out to you via messages sometime to discuss how you’ve been coping and what’s helpful to keep in mind as a daughter?
Post # 12
thesecondwife : Not at all bee. Message me sometime! 🙂