(Closed) dads GF bought same dress as FMIL

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Oh wow. That’s really all I can say. I would seriously be like “Are you kidding me?!” And no, I would not find that “cute” at all, either. I really hope your dad can talk her into taking it back or personally I’d tell her to expect not to get into any pictures.

Post # 5
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think you are just going to have to tell her a BIG NO WAY. 

You can’t leave it up to your dad, he didn’t have enough courage to tell her not to buy it in the first place. 

Post # 6
Member
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

You have three weeks to go.  You have to let them do what they’re going to do and move on to worry about other tasks. 

My mother bought two dresses and wound up wearing the one that was almost the same color as the bridesmaids.  It might have raised an eyebrow or two, but in the grand scheme of things, she looked great and it didn’t matter.

There’s going to be drama in the next few weeks.  What will go wrong, goes wrong in the two weeks prior.  Rise above…this isn’t going to make or break the day. 

Post # 9
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Hopefully if she knows that you really dont want her to wear it..she will come to her senses.

Post # 11
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If you really think your FMIL will care, just let her know. In 3 weeks, she might be able to find something different. If you’ve told your dad/his gf to get a different dress and you’ve let your FMIL know that the gf has bought the same dress, you’ve done everything you can and it’s time to take a deep breath and move on..

Post # 13
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@chickiebee:  That’s just awful….I really feel for your FMIL….

I hope your fathers gf changes her mind and get another dress…

*BIG HUGS* for you hunni.

Post # 14
Member
1776 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Unfortunately what is done is done.  I do think the dresses look different.  If anyone comments they just have to say something like “oh we had no idea, great minds must think alike” or “well we’ve both got great taste!”  Also, if your FMIL wears a small jacket or a bolero I think that would really help set them apart and make them look different (and also maybe make your FMIL feel more comfortable).  Maybe she could also think about getting it shortened to tea length for an added difference.  Adding a sparkly pin to the neckline would also help. 

I know it’s not an ideal situation, but instead of people being upset, hopefully there is a way to make things a little better.  Good Luck!

Post # 15
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

It is not time to move on.  You do not need to let it go. Your FMIL deserves some respect and your Father’s GF is deliberately showing relational agression by dismissing her and her concerns.  Since neither your father nor his gf are recognizing that this bullying is out of line at a wedding, where what the mothers wear is important, you need to tell him that she will not be seated in that dress, that the ushers will place her in the back, or refuse to seat her at all, and that everyone in the family will be told that the gf is bullying the FMIL.  The dresses are identical in all but minute detail.  The gf could return that dress since it didn’t need alterations, or your father could buy her a new one.  There are lots of ways to remedy this and by not doing so, both of them are guilty of trying to bully your FMIL. Women bully in lots of different ways, and this is one of them.  

Post # 16
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

@Beejane:  I nvever thought about the bullying factor

The topic ‘dads GF bought same dress as FMIL’ is closed to new replies.

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors