(Closed) dads GF bought same dress as FMIL

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 32
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Tell your Future Mother-In-Law to wear that dress to the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner instead 😉 Your father’s Girlfriend is completely disrespecting you and your Future Mother-In-Law, so screw her… let her wear the “leftover” dress. She’ll look like the idiot in the end.

Post # 33
Member
963 posts
Busy bee

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@Happy2bMrs:  I have read this before and love it.  That will do the trick.

Post # 34
Member
758 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

chickiebee: All joking aside, can you warn for Future Mother-In-Law and maybe offer to go last-minute dress shopping with her if she’s uncomfortable wearing the dress?  It doesn’t sound like you’re going to get very far with your dad’s Girlfriend, but maybe your Future Mother-In-Law would appreciate you warning her and making it clear that you are on her side with this one…

Either way, good luck.  You don’t need these types of stressors in the last few weeks leading up to your wedding!

Post # 36
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Wow. I’d be pissed. That shows a complete and total lack of respect for you.

It’d be one thing if you hadn’t warned her, but she purchased it KNOWING she was going to upstage the Future Mother-In-Law.

I’m as blunt as they come and i’ve learned beating around the bush gets me nowhere so I’d prolly call her up and say You’re not going to dis-repect me and my Future Mother-In-Law by wearing that dress.  I’m sorry you waited to the last minute, but you’re going to have to find a new dress or don’t come. I’ve talked to Future Mother-In-Law and she was in tears.  This is a big day for her, like it’s a big day for me.  Please put yourself in her shoes and get a new dress. If you refuse, then you won’t be seated with Dad and you won’t be in any of the photos. 

Post # 37
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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@MrsPeachMartini:  That’s what my first though was! I think Future Mother-In-Law should gracefully agree to get a different (and hopefully even better) dress. Then, since she can’t return the first one that was bought so long ago, wear it to the rehearsal dinner and make dad’s Girlfriend look like a chump.

Post # 39
Member
3306 posts
Sugar bee

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@Happy2bMrs:  Perfect idea- good luck OP! I would leave the decision on your Future Mother-In-Law of what to do.

Post # 40
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Clearly I’m in the minority here but I don’t see the big deal. It’s not like she intentionally hunted down the same dress. She found a dress she liked and bought it. I’m in the camp that believes adults can dress themselves and shouldn’t have to consult the bride about their clothing choices. For what it is worth I would think it was awesome if my mom and my Future Mother-In-Law wore the same dress. My only concern if I were in your situation would be that your mom might feel left out.

Post # 41
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee

I’m so evil but this is a rare case where I wonder if you could “just happen” to have a mixture of red wine, mud and ink on the wedding day and have someone run into your dad’s Girlfriend with an “oopsy-doodles” situation, thus forcing her to wear something else…..have a spare dress on standby.  Wink  I’m kidding….mostly.

Post # 43
Member
963 posts
Busy bee

As a MOB I have to say I will be very upset with this.  Not only for me but for my daughter.  She has been telling me I have to look special on her day and next to her dress she wants mine to stand out from all the others.

 

 

Post # 44
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@arendiva:  This. 

Does anyone go to a wedding and remember what the MOG wore? Or even the MOB? Should they? My Mother-In-Law wore something inappropriate (same color as bridesmaids, too small, didn’t fit) and no one so much as glanced at her past the time she and Father-In-Law were seated. I have only noticed the MOG at one wedding other than our own because she was wearing a strapless sweetheart neckline low-cut mermaid dress. 

Just be sure you get all of the family photos separately (your husband’s family, your families), THEN all families and space it out as much as you can. 

I had no idea the mother of the groom could be upstaged, given her minute role in the wedding. 

Post # 46
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

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@MrsBroccoli:  I don’t think they usually remember… But I would  if they exactly matched… I don’t see how people are saying this is no big deal! If Future Mother-In-Law is upset to tears it’s a big deal! Does your dad’s Girlfriend know that you are not the only one upset by this? I’m in the camp to firmly tell her to buy another dress or she’ll not be walking down the aisle or in the pictures and you will be seating her right at the back! 

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