- 8 years ago
- Wedding: August 2014 - Traverse City
It seems that every time I recalculate the estimated cost of our reception, I come up with an even higher number than before. And it’s getting stressful! Our venue is reasonably priced, so I think the problem is that our guest list just keeps getting higher–and this is mostly due to my dad.
Now I love my dad dearly, but he’s added nearly 30 extra people to my list that I was not anticipating–that’s roughly $750 extra that we were not planning to accommodate for!! And no, my parents are not funding our wedding. Our parents might contribute here and there if they can, but I would say at least 90% of it we are paying for on our own. And we are totally ok with that (this is NOT a rant about parents not paying for our wedding, we appreciate any help they may offer but we are happy to be doing this ourselves).
Now, back to the guest list… most these “extra” people are my dad’s family, people he is close to, like he great aunts/uncles, cousins, etc. I can’t match a face to name with any of these people, have never in my life seen them on a regular basis, and I’m sure most of them have no clue I am getting married…they are practically strangers! I would tell my dad that we are doing away with great aunts/uncles in general, but there’s a problem–there is one of his great aunts/uncles that I am actually very close to, and they were a huge part of my childhood (so as if they were my own aunt/uncle). I can’t invite said great aunt/uncle and not all the other brothers/sisters–oh what family drama there would be!!
I just don’t want a huge wedding. I want the people who are closest and most important to me to come, and that is it. When I look at who I really truly want to be there, my side of the invite list is only 60ish people. Add on my dad’s list and all these other “obligatory” invites, and that number nearly doubles. And so does the budget.
I intend on sending out save the dates by December 1, so I’ve seriously considered not sending my dad’s list a STD and only an invititation (oh, not enough notice to come? my apologies…). I know, I know, it’s slightly evil and very poor taste. But clever. ha.
I’ve tried talking to my dad about inviting them, and he just says “You have to, they’re family”. I can’t win.
Bees, I’m sure many of you have dealt/are dealing with this, how’d you resolve the issue?
PS sorry for the super lengthy vent