(Closed) Dads Not Onboard

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m sorry to hear that. I have you tried talking to him?  Just you and him?  Maybe there’s more to it..

My dad was pretty excited to have another man finally take over! LMAO  Nah, but he was truly happy he loves my Fiance he’s even become kind of a dadzilla during the planning process lolol  it’s cute though

Post # 4
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

At this point I think you have two options, from a logistical standpoint.  Either have a frank discussion with him as to whether he would like to contribute, or simply proceed on the assumption that he’s not going to provide financial support and adjust plans or expectations accordingly.

It sounds as though he’s got some thoughts or feelings about this that are going unexpressed.  How long were you and Fiance together before getting engaged?  How well does he know FI?

Post # 5
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Sometimes dad’s just don’t know what goes into wedding planning.  They weren’t too involved in their own weddings, and the little knowledge they do have is 30 years out of date.  I’m not really sure what you mean by “the date he’s comfortable with”, you pick the date, not him.  I would talk to him directly about it.  Mention things like you’re trying to start booking vendors.  Most likely he’ll be surprised that that stuff doesn’t happen like a month before the wedding, lol.  That’s how mine was. 

It can be really off putting to ask him directly what he’s going to give you for the wedding, because more and more the expectation is that the couple will pay for themselves and that parents may or may not offer assistance.  If you do need to bring it up directly, I would ask something like “We’re trying to get all our finances in order, were you planning on helping with the budget?” but if he says no don’t be pushy about it.

I wonder what you’re expecting of him?  It’s hard enough to get grooms to be involved, much less other male relatives…

Post # 6
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Hmm…maybe he’s sad about losing his little girl? As silly as that sounds dad’s are protective of their daughters. I would try sitting him down and voicing your concerns. 

I wasn’t there but when my Fiance asked my parents for my hand in marriage a very excited Mama iPhone quickly said “Yes, of course.” Dad iPhone said “no.” After a few seconds of silence and a very, very nervous looking Fiance my dad finally responded with, “no I won’t just give you her hand in marriage, i’ll give you her arms, legs all of her.” My dad is a big joker. What I’m getting at is as much as he loves my Fiance (he’ll finally get a son!) a part of him is a little sad that he’s “losing his little girl.” 

I hope your dad comes around!

Post # 10
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

That’s great news!! Laughing

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