(Closed) Damn…still not a bridesmaid…

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
1939 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

It’s not compulsory to have bridesmaids, why don’t you skip it if there’s no one you feel that close to? 

I also don’t think it matters about being bridesmaids for each other, I don’t expect my bridesmaids to necessarily pick me when they get married, so many factors can play into who you choose. 

 

Post # 3
Member
9520 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

It isn’t tit for tat. If they have asked you or not it should not be a factor.

Post # 4
Member
3440 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

I think you should focus more on who you want in your bridal party, if anyone, and less on the past. Maybe they didn’t ask bc they weren’t trying to burden you knowing that you live a plane ride away? No idea. Its not mandatory to have a bridal party so if you aren’t particularly close to anyone then don’t bother.

Post # 5
Member
3883 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

A lot of different factors go into who someone picks for their bridal party. Don’t take it personally. As for your own bridal party, if there isn’t anyone you want as a bridesmaid, don’t have them. If you want them, ask them. 

Post # 6
Member
94 posts
Worker bee

Honestly, being a bridesmaid isn’t all that great sometimes!

Post # 7
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

It’s okay I don’t have many close girl friends either, and really haven’t been a bridesmaid except for my aunts wedding when I was 13. 

J am having his sisters be bridesmaids and I do have one best friend (older already married before we met) and she’s my maid of honor. 

Post # 8
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee

I’ve never been a brdiesmaid and at 40 I’m okay with it. 

Post # 9
Member
9128 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
firedancer1962 :  if you don’t feel that close to them why would you even want to be a bridesmaid? It’s a pain in the butt and I would only do it for my absolute favorite girls, but there are plenty of people I would turn down if they asked me (thankfully has never happened though!). 

Post # 10
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

I was only a bridesmaid once, and it wasn’t that great. The bride was always nervous and freaking out and I felt bad about a lot of things. I was Maid/Matron of Honor and she informed me I was supposed to throw a shower, but I had nowhere to hold it, my mom refused to have it at her house and I lived with her, and I couldn’t afford a rented space. So I felt bad about that. The groom’s mom had the shower at her house.

You don’t need a wedding party. If you have a guy or a girl you feel good about just ask them to be a witness and tell them they don’t have any obligations. Let them wear what they want with minimal guidance. When I got married I had one attendant and I told her to wear anything she wanted. She checked with me on the dress and I said Fine.

Also, the close girlfriends I did have when I was young, I wasn’t close with at the time they got married. The timing was wrong for me to have been a bridesmaid for anyone, and I don’t have sisters or close family. See, there are a lot of factors to not being a bridesmaid!

Post # 11
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

That’s not really how picking a bridal party works. Pick who you want with you, even if you weren’t in theirs. 

Post # 12
Member
7159 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I’ve never been a bridesmaid and never once considered having any. I’ve got great friends but that’s just not the way we show our closeness.

Post # 13
Member
289 posts
Helper bee

I totally get how you’re feeling. I was pretty offended too when my fiance’s sister got married and didn’t initially ask me to be her Bridesmaid or Best Man. (She did ask eventually without me saying anything and it was A TON of effort and money). Also my fiance’s good friend just got married and he asked pretty much everyone in his group of friends to be a groomsman except for him. You don’t necessarily need to have a bridal party.

Post # 14
Member
1359 posts
Bumble bee

To be blunt, being a Bridesmaid or Best Man sucks. Even IF (and that’s a big “if”) the bride is reasonable and understands the only expectations are to buy the dress and show up on the day, it’s a big expense, you have to wear a dress you didn’t choose, etc. I would 100% rather just be a guest, and this is coming from someone who has been a BM/MOH upwards of a dozen times. When my time came, I chose not to have a bridal party at all because it just seems ridiculous to me…especially given that we had fewer than 25 guests total. 

Being in a Wedding Party isn’t tit for tat. If you’re super into having a Wedding Party, then just choose those to whom you feel closest.

Post # 15
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I agree with the others. I have been a Bridesmaid or Best Man only twice and it was a ton of work, effort and money! For one wedding I spent upwards of $1500 between the bridal shower, bachelorette party, gifts associated with each, shoes, dress, jewelry, hair, makeup and a wedding gift.

I kept my bridal party just to my friend that’s like a sister to me. We’ve been in each others lives since preschool and I didn’t want to have to ask my other friends, that I would have otherwise asked, to make such a commitment since they’re both pregnant.

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