(Closed) Dang, it's good to be recognized as married!

posted 6 years ago in LGBTQ
Post # 3
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Thankful for all triumphs.

Today, DC.  Someday, the world.

Glad you’re okay!

Post # 4
5011 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

It’s sad that any part of the world wouldn’t recognise a married couple as such, but I’m very glad you were somewhere that did.

Post # 6
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

This is a concern for me living in a state that doesn’t recognize gay marriage. Fiance and I are planning on meeting with a lawyer so that we can be listed as each others health care proxy (power of attorney). I’m amazed at how many long term same sex couples don’t meet with a lawyer. Yes, it’s expensive but well worth it I think. 

Post # 7
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

First off, glad to hear you are ok now…

That must have been a bit of a scare.

Second… NEWS FLASH, not only do some US States not recognize same-sex marriages, they don’t recognized Common Law Relationships either (federally).

Here in Canada, a ton of us are Common Law vs traditional marriage (not a very religious country overall).

My Elderly Dad discovered how bad this was when he was travelling in the US with his Common Law “wife”.  She wasn’t feeling well so he took her to the Hospital.  While they were in the Waiting Room all was ok.  BUT he wasn’t allowed back with her when she was being treated… and when things got much worse for her, things also got worse for him as well.  She had a heart attack, and went unconscious.  It was quite clear, that she wasn’t going to make it, so one kind Doctor took pity on my Dad and let him come in the room to say his “BRIEF Good-Byes”… then out he had to skoot.

She passed away without him… he sitting alone in the Waiting Room

After it was over, they came and told him… and he asked to see her again.  The answer was NO… as they weren’t married he wasn’t family.  My poor father had to leave the hospital, and go home and call her side of the family.  The hospital, insurance, etc wouldn’t deal with my Dad at all, because THEY WERE NOT MARRIED… so in the USA their relationship meant zip, zero, zilch !!

It was truly heart breaking for my Dad.

This is part of the reason that Mr TTR and I are getting married now after so many years of being Common Law Partners.  We travel alot, and go to the US frequently.  And we want to protect ourselves incase we ever find ourselves in need of medical assitance

Lol, and it would also be nice to stop the harassment that we get from US Border Agents (especially when we are flying) as we are not married.  The US Declaration Form says ONE PER FAMILY HOUSEHOLD… we have been repeatedly told we are not a family, because we are not married, so we must file seperately.

I agree that individual US States should step up to the plate on giving EVERYONE the ability to marry, but it should also do more (across the board) to recognize those who chose an otherwise recognized alternative to marriage as well.

Just my 2 cents.


Post # 8
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I am a hospital social worker. Most hospitals have healthcare power of attorney forms available and will assist people in filling them out free of charge. If your partner is your   heathcare POA they can not be denied access to you. POA trumps family and marriage. The paperwork is easy. It does not take an attorney to make it legal. Protect yourselves and your partners by taking a minute to fill out the forms. In Illinois it is the law that you must be asked on admission if you have a POA or if you would like to complete one.

Post # 10
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Your doctor and hospital can keep it on electronic file. I understand what you are saying but for most in the US gay marriage is not yet recognised. My hospital is very gay friendly and I have never seen them discriminate. 

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