Post # 1
I’ve been engaged since the beginning of September, and had the end of June planned for the wedding. Most of mine and my fiance’s family had the date marked off on their calendars, and my sister (MOH) had dates for the bachelorette party figured out. However, invitations are not made and we were still deciding on how large we wanted the wedding to be (70 guests with just family and our best friends who would be in the wedding party, or 120 guests with including other significant people from our lives).
Last week, I made the decision to take a break from school (5 years in college, I need a mental health break!) and focus on other parts of life–inclusing preparing for marriage! So we moved up the wedding to the end of March, 3 months earlier than our original date. We both feel great about the decision, since my fiance is very busy in the summer and this gives us 3 full months before all the hectic traveling and being gone for 1-2 weeks at a time!
Everyone was very supportive, except for my sister. Keep in mind she planned her wedding in ONE MONTH and completely upended our mom’s house and the family’s month. She is making me feel like it’s such a burden on our family, since the date is a Monday AND 3 months earlier (I will say that two of my bestfriends had their wedding days on a Wednsday and Tuesday), and would change bachelorette party plans.
I suggested we still go forth with the original bachelorette party plans–just make it a fun girl’s trip instead! I genuinely don’t care about having a bachelorette party before the wedding. Then she got very angry at me and my fiance when he tried to mediate. She thinks he was talking to her like a child, when he was trying to help becasue I was getting upset!
I’m not sure how to handle this. Everyone is being encouraging so what can I do about my sister ignoring me because she’s so angry and extremely stubborn? She’s been getting angry at me constantly when I do things differently than she think I should. I need to find a way to convince her my fiance was trying to help, and that moving up the wedding date is really a good thing!
Post # 2
You will never convince her that your fiance was trying to help. You are sisters he should have not got into it with her.
She is wrong about giving you a hard time. Its your wedding and you can have it when you want. If you and your fiance are happy that is all that should matter to you. She can have whatever feelings she wants about it. Just keep them to herself.
People are being encouraging because they are keeping their true thoughts to themselves. Which is what adults do. Internally they may or may not be thinking a wedding in approx 10 weeks on a Monday in March…
Post # 3
saarnlo : was the original date also a Monday? Does she live locally? Have kids who go to school?
Tbh I wouldn’t be too thrilled to go to a Monday wedding, but of course I wouldn’t say that to the bride. If it’s local I probably will go, well, depends on the time. If it’s a trip I won’t do it. But shes your sister so she has to.
Just let her be I guess, if your march wedding date is set, though it’s not very clear that it is. But since you want a Monday I don’t assume it will be difficult to get a venue.
Post # 4
Did you even check with your VIPS (like your bridal party) that that date would work for them? Or did you just tell them we have changed the wedding date to xyz date?
Post # 5
Your fi should not have gotten involved. Blood deals with blood, don’t let him try to “mediate” in your familys issues in the future.
Monday weddings are inconvenient. Moving the date after people had already made plans for it is inconvenient. Maybe everyone else is grumbling behind your back and she’s the only one who will say it to your face?
At this point, if your plans are set just keep on keepin on. If she puts up a fight, just ignore and deflect. “monday weddings are so rude” “I’m sorry you feel that way, it’s what works best for us.” “No one will want to go on a bachelorette trip AFTER the wedding” “Yeah, maybe, we can let the girls decide for themselves.” Part of being an adult is owning your choices and standing up for yourself. If this is truly what you and your fi want, then own that.
Post # 6
Agree with PPs that your Fiance shouldn’t have gotten involved in this one. She’s your sister, you need to deal with her.
Also I can’t say I’d be thrilled about a march Monday wedding. The ones who are “showing support” are likely just keeping their opinions to themselves, like PP said. Your sister did not keep her opinion to herself.
Bottom line is that it’s your wedding. If you want it on a Monday in March then do that; however, don’t expect everyone to be able to make it.
Post # 7
A Monday in March would not faze me. Probably doesn’t faze the rest of your family either