(Closed) A friend “stole” my wedding date!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I would say, hang in there. The venue she chose may not be what she wants and she may end up changing her mind. If you feel there is enough things to make you change the date, then that is understandable. I would ask her if her heart was set on that date for a reason and go from there. Your wedding isn’t so close that you could change or she could, by just a weekend. If you both end up staying on the same date, you’ll just have to get over the fact that some of your friends might end up at her wedding. Good luck dear, I’m sure you are going to figure things out and your wedding will be beautiful and special regardless of who shows up.

Post # 4
Member
1014 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I wouldn’t confront her necessarily, but maybe some of your mutual guests can help mediate the situation?  I know I would want to talk to a friend about why they would choose the exact same wedding date as another friend, knowing that their was a lot of guest overlap.  In fact, as a guest, I’d be pretty pissed at the friend for choosing the same date, and making me choose between friends.  Because of that, I’d probably go to the wedding I planned to attend first, which would be yours.  Send out the invites, even to those who you don’t think will attend, and let them decide what they want to do.  You never know, they may be upset that the friend put them in this situation in the first place, and come to your wedding instead.  So annoying of them!  At least they won’t be at your wedding!  I know everyone says it, but it’s about the people who are there, not about the people who aren’t… so try to enjoy the company that comes, and forget about those who can’t make it.

Post # 5
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

That really sucks.  I’m trying to imagine how I would feel/react if that happened to me.  It’s really strange that someone would pick a reception site without seeing it.  She has to have some kind of strong tie to that reception hall, if not, then that’s super fishy.

Regardless-  you can’t change it.  And you can’t *make* people go to your wedding over hers. But look at it this way, you are going to be surrounded, no, overwhelmed with people on that day.  You will know everyone there, and everyone is going to be jockeying for your attention.  And I’ll bet that you’ll hardly notice the people who didn’t come.  I mean, in 20 years from now, chances are you won’t keep in touch with half these college friends anymore.

Keep in mind what your wedding is really about and hopefully that will make you feel better.

ps: you may have to throw those exact word back at me when I’m bummed out or worried about something on my wedding day 🙂

Post # 6
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011 - Samuel Lynne Galleries and Marc Events

Wow.. that’s really, really crappy! I can’t believe your friend would do that. I personally couldn’t just let it go. I would have to have a little more clarification on her decision making process. I mean, if she is your friend, wouldn’t she want to pick any day BUT your wedding day ’cause she would want to be there to support you on your wedding day? I just don’t get it… Good luck, girl.

Post # 7
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Thats really crappy! We had a almost identical problem and decided that having our friends and family all there was morinportant to us than the specific date so we moved our date back so we could make sure the nobody had to chose. That is always an option to consider even if it isn’t as appealing as leaving scary things outside hers to make everybody run to yours… okay, that’s mean… but I felt mean when she stole it and I wouldn’t blame you if you did too!

Post # 8
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I almost had to “choose” the day a sorority sister of mine was getting married. We tried for the 16th and couldn’t find a venue. We set our date first and then decided to move it to the 2nd. It wasn’t until then I heard she chose that date… It SUCKED to be in the position of possibly doing the same day. It wound up that the 2nd wouldn’t work either when we went to book so we wound up with the 30th. Maybe she didn’t see the venue, but I have been there and it sucks to make that decision. (at least, it did for me). I however was also trying to be a bigger person and was planning on basically telling the sorority that her wedding was the priority as she selected the date first. 

Post # 9
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yeah, I would say something. I’d say, “It sucks Gina can’t come to my wedding because she’s in yours that’s the same day.” Or you could just move yours to the week before hers and then say you are only thinking of your mutual friends. You don’t want them having to choose between weddings.

Post # 10
Member
14424 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Geez, I’m with Hippo on this one.  Are you close friends?  Just aquaintances?  Do you run in the same circle of friends?  I cant imagine any friend doing tihs to me or our mutual friends.  I wouldnt’ be able to let it go either and would want to know what was going on in her head when she decided on the same date also.  I’d bring it up casually with her and I think her response and/or reaction will determine if that friendship is even worth keeping.

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