(Closed) Date of a Christmastime Wedding

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should my wedding be on Friday, December 22 or Saturday, December 23?

    Friday, December 22

    Saturday, December 23

  • Post # 31
    479 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    I would decline either dates. It’s too close to christmas, people are strapped for cash, Those are days where they could be visiting with family. I also suggest a NYE wedding, they always look like a ton of fun!

    Post # 32
    101 posts
    Blushing bee

    Both days are bad options. My friend got married on December 28th, which was a slightly better option. Her venue was still very Christmasy. In the end, I missed her wedding because I wanted to spend more time with family before my grandma passed (I only see them once a year) and it was my last holiday break before starting a real job. I think they invited 350 people and 150 or so came…. 

    Picking either of those dates is a great way to almost ensure that you will have a high decline rate, which could help with budget. 

    Post # 33
    1196 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 1995

    We got married on Dec. 22.  Our church was full, around 250 people.   I can’t think of hardly any that declined.  I was very surprised that we had that many attend that close to Christmas, but we did.  Most of our guests were local or within a 3 hour drive.  

    We had many tell us that it was one of the most beautiful weddings they had ever attended.  

    While I’m glad we got married when we did & I would probably pick that date again, we are now finding that with children, it makes it very hard to go anywhere for our anniversary.


    Post # 35
    2352 posts
    Buzzing bee

    If you were a friend I would decline. If you were family I’m grumble that I had to go to such a thing so close to Christmas Eve, which we celebrate instead of Christmas.  To be fair, if you were family and you were out of state I probably wouldn’t go. Its an added expense and I’d rather be home. 

    Post # 36
    7897 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    I likely would not attend either date unless you were my sister. Most people already overspend at the holidays and are low on disposable income. Airfare for those who would need it is prohibitively expensive. Many people have to be somewhere else for the holiday, so many will already be out of town; others are preparing to have people at their own house and may have visitors already. Many people work for places that have the Friday before a holiday as a black-out date that they are not allowed to take off. Overall, there are way too many complications and things going on at that time. I would guess that even a good portion of those who did attend would feel resentful about it.

    Post # 37
    2044 posts
    Buzzing bee

    My sister had a wedding on Dec 17 (a weekday) about an hour away from her hometown and where she lives now (in the middle, basically) and only about 50 people rsvpd that they make it. She wanted a small wedding so she did it this way.Just some fyi. Only about 35 people showed up and they all left very quickly. We had so much food and booze left over. She was pretty sad about it even though she wanted a small wedding. 

    Post # 38
    5049 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    brownleebride1127 :  pick whichever date you want but realise that you may get a lot of declines. Traveling in that time period is expensive and getting leave approved can be hard too. Others may forgo your wedding simply because they would prefer to spend those days with other people and in other situations. 

    Post # 39
    1 posts
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I love the idea of a wedding at Christmastime. If many on your guest list are local, you might get a decent turnout. Are you planning to send Save The Dates well in advance? I really believe those who love you will do their very best to make it if they are local. A couple friends had good turnouts a their weddings – December 2nd and December 14th. But, both had local family and friends.

    Post # 40
    441 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    I think this really depends on your guests and their situation. As someone who lives an expensive and long plane ride away from my family, I usually spend a week or two around Christmas visiting them and it’s one of the few times I see them in a year. Therefore unless you’re a really close friend or relative, or if you’re from my hometown, I would be unlikely to want to intrude with time with my family.

    Post # 41
    79 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    DH and I got married on December 22nd last year. We eloped so it was just us, but before we decided to elope we were concerned about the same thing. I say if you’re set on one of those dates go for it, if not maybe go earlier in the month or after Christmas. Good luck bee!

    Post # 42
    935 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    Can you do December 17th (Sunday) – I think it’s a lot better than either the 22nd and the 23rd!

    Post # 43
    482 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    We dealt with this debacle as well, as our venue was unable to accommodate us this year for Saturday the 17th OR Sunday the 18th of December.  We decided to go for Monday the 19th and let people know well in advance.  The majority of people were happy to take the day off work, thankfully, and a lot of my husband’s family are retired now, anyway.

    I didn’t want to have our date too close to Christmas, being conscious of the fact that most people are travelling around that time, and after Christmas, people are either away or, in our case, again will be travelling (as our wedding is overseas, we are combining it with an overseas holiday before wel come home). 

    It really was a tricky decision, but from what I can gather, our guests are happy to have a long weekend and attend our Monday wedding before the chaos of Christmastime ensues! 🙂

    Post # 44
    7199 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    View original reply
    brownleebride1127 :  In a lot of workplaces you have to work the last working day before the holiday to be paid for the holiday. So if they would be getting the Monday paid off for Christmas Day but took Friday off for your wedding, they wouldn’t be paid for Monday. 

    Add to that the cost of traveling and I honestly can’t think of many people I’d be willing to travel for. If you were local I’d go on Saturday. If you were my sister or my very best friend I’d take off Friday but be pissed about it. But I honestly can’t imagine traveling to a December 23rd wedding for anyone. 

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