(Closed) Date poaching, or am I just a b*tch?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t really get why this would bother you.  In my opinion, if someone doesn’t find my wedding important enough to attend, then I don’t really want them there anyways. I’m excited to celebrate my big day with family and friends but honestly there are very few people that would impact my entire day if they weren’t there.

Post # 4
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Eh, I would be sad about it because I would want my friends at my wedding but I would totally understand why they couldn’t make it and just let it go.

Post # 5
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@MrsWBS:  100% agree with this.

OP, if they are good friends they will make every effort to celebrate your big day with you.

Post # 7
Member
3136 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@ZChick17:  Yes, you are overreacting. People have lives to plan- they can’t take into account your wedding beyond not scheduling it the same day. If people want to travel for both they will. Or they will choose and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. If you are able to somehow get this group of 20 together with regularity then chances are they distances aren’t that far…

ONE DAY!

Post # 9
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Well it really is a matter of whos more important because if they thought you were they would go to yours, and not your friends…

Post # 10
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@ZChick17:  Yes, it would suck but thats life. On the day of your wedding you are going to have a room full of people that want to celebrate with you. A couple of friends that couldnt fly across country should not ruin your day.

 

Post # 12
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

eh, regardless  they’re kind of one in the same to me. For me, outside of my groom, parents/grandparents, siblings and a few friends/cousins who I know would make or break how fun it was if they weren’t there, I wouldn’t be upset.   I don’t think you’re a crazy bitch or anything for being upset, I just wouldn’t worry about it – it’s not something that’s worth it to be upset about.  

Post # 13
Member
3421 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

I would be upset but wouldn’t say anything about it. I find with HS friends, things can get pretty High School pretty quick. Just go home and send those STD NOW

Post # 14
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I can definitely understand being bummed that some of your mutual friends might not be able to come.  However, there really isn’t much you can do about it and I certainly wouldn’t hold it against the other couple.  Remember, not everyone is going to be able to make your wedding anyway.  So even if your friends could fly out twice in 3 weeks, they might have a big work project or other family obligation and wouldn’t be able to make it regardless.

Post # 15
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Just think of the money you’re saving on feeding them at your reception. 

We had one awkward moment when a childhood friend of my husband’s (who now lives in CA – we’re in MI) said “Oh that’s awesome… but if you’re both getting married then I’ll probably only be able to make it to one of your weddings!”  That was when she learned (after asking) that both my husband and his brother were having weddings in May of last year.  She wasn’t going to be invited to ours…

Post # 16
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@ZChick17:  we had the same situation last year with my sister and one of our good friends. (no animosity though bc there were circumstances that made the dates necessary to both of them) Surprisingly, most of our friends attended both weddings. I think it helped that they had a lot of notice. we are all late 20’s too. maybe your friends will surprise you

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