(Closed) Date stolen and now venue!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Unfortunately it doesn’t sound like she will budge, so you either have to deal with it or move your venue?  I can see how you’re a bit peeved about it.

Post # 4
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Honestly it is not fair to his family having the weddings so close together. I know you don’t want to move the date, but maybe summer might be better.

Post # 5
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Did you already put a deposit down on the venue or sign any paperwork?

Post # 6
Member
46408 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

As upsetting as it is, your weddings will be completely different.

If it’s pretty much the only venue you can book, isn’t it also pretty much the only venue she can book?

 

Post # 8
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Maybe put a bug in Future Mother-In-Law ear about how it will be unfair to the families having to attend two weddings so close together. Maybe spin it so that the FCIL does not make out as well so you are only looking out for her best interest. Honestly it sounds spiteful that she did it and if that is the only reason then she might be willing to change it

Post # 9
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Lib: Sounds like the right thing to do. Let it go so it doesn’t keep driving you crazy. Your wedding will be beautiful and totally different from hers.

Post # 10
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011 - The Providence Biltmore

It looks like you can’t change her mind and you are unable to change your date/venue. You’re going to have to let it go. On the bright side, it’s only some of your guests who will attend the other wedding.  

I suggest not breathing another word about your wedding to the cousin. 

Post # 11
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Frankly, if this were me, I would get a bit vindictive and just decide, well, fine, I will do everything possible to make sure I make this venue SHINE compared to your crappy attempt-at-scene-stealing wedding. It’s petty, I know, but she doesn’t seem like she’s taken the high road this whoel time either. I mean, your wedding is almost a year and a half away – it shouldn’t have been a major inconvenience to change her date, so you shouldn’t have to give her your venue for that.

Hell, a year out, I changed our date for the wedding of a couple I had never met, so that FI’s sister wouldn’t have to miss it for ours. It really didn’t bug me, because we hadn’t booked anything yet anyway.

Post # 12
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Lib: first off, STOP TELLING HER EVERYTHING!!!!  DO NOT tell her your theme or colors or vendors or dress or ANYTHING!  If you’re asked, lie through your teeth (and, if you wanna be really mean, make sure it’s stuff that will clash horribly… like cactus and sharks.  you get the idea 😉 )

Secondly, it definitely sucks that she’s doing this and though you have a right to be irked (I sure would be!), you’ve either gotta grin and bear it (and make sure you out-do her, lol) or change.  

My vote is for out-doing her and telling her lies, lol.

Post # 13
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I wouldn’t worry about it.  By the time you get done counting friends, family friends and your side of the family, only 1/3 will have seen the place beforehand.  And half of them will be guys who will just think “great, I know how to get there because I went last week!” and think nothing more of it.

You did ask her to change dates, so while it sucks she picked the same venue, I think you need to let this one go.  Don’t tell her anything more – and maybe think about asking the venue if they can create some wedding dish off menu for the entree.

Post # 14
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@baliahi1029:  I don’t like being catty but I agree.  Don’t tell her any of her plans just let the bees ideas help you to have a sweet, personalized wedding that just screams how amazing it is.  When she sees that SHE will be the one doing the comparison and you will come out on top. 🙂

Sweetest revenge is guests complimenting your menu, the music, your decor and not hers.

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