(Closed) Dating a cop? Help

posted 6 years ago in Engagement
Post # 46
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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carmens:  right? I wish I too had listened to those people who told me that kind of ‘waiting’ wouldn’t lead anywhere!

Post # 47
Member
358 posts
Helper bee

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cherryberry25:  Even though I think 2 years is a bit early for an engagement, at 2 years he should have a pretty good idea if he wants to marry you and a general idea of when that might be. And I don’t like his behavior via text. It would definitely have me questioning the relationship. And Lord, please don’t move in with him!

Post # 48
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

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cherryberry25:  

“I told him i couldnt be with him anymore and he blew my phone up and when i finally answered he told me i wasnt going anywhere and.i wasn’t leaving him”

As PPs have said, BIG red flag right here. You’d be surprised how much domestic abuse there is among police families (or maybe you wouldn’t be).

ETA: My dad is a cop, and while there’s definitely no DV in my family, this is not an uninformed statement.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by kbee86.
Post # 49
Member
2864 posts
Sugar bee

Please don’t end up pregnant no matter what you decide if marriage is important to you…at least without kids, it’s a million times easier to get the hell out if you stick around and get strung along.

Post # 50
Member
877 posts
Busy bee

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ct2015:  lots of jobs give a little bit of preference single people due to long days, unpredictable hours, etc. I don’t work for the federal govt or in LE, but in my own field I’ve been asked about my marital status/ family plans in interviews because it’s so demanding and the divorce rate is high. Police officers also have one of the highest divorce rates which can be a scary thought for a new officer. But, federal jobs that take place overseas and you can’t take your family, require a lot of travel without your family, or are undercover prefer single people. As I mentioned, I don’t work in law enforcement so I don’t know a ton about it, but I remember when Fiance was in college he did a lot of fed gov job fairs and such and was frequently warned that certain jobs would be easier to obtain if he didn’t get married. Like I said, I was just throwing out another perspective. Everyone, including myself, said it had nothing to do with being a cop, but honestly it could have a little to do with him being a cop and the fears/ insecurities he has regarding his career and marriage.  

Post # 51
Member
877 posts
Busy bee

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sylwia212:  Agree with everything you said here!!!

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