- 5 years ago
I know this is not really the right kind of forum for discussion on first dates etc but a few months ago, I was on this board thinking I was heading to the alter with my boyfriend at the time so I’m hoping the one post about my new love interest will be ok!
So, here’s the story…
After a few months of trying to work things out with my boyfriend of just over two years, I left him just after New Year. The break-up was amiable and we have remained friends.
However, it had barely been a week since the break-up and I wasn’t even really thinking too much about dating again when I was asked out by a lovely man! We’ve had a bit of chemistry going since I met him at a conference three months ago, and I’ve seen him regularly since then (for professional reasons). He asked me for dinner and a drink that evening (Friday) and I agreed. I didn’t want to rush into anything, especially so soon after finishing a relationship of nearly 2.5 years that was leading to engagement, but I thought there was no harm in going for a drink and seeing how things went.
Anyway, things were FANTASTIC. We ended up spending most of the night together (went to some nightclubs until 3.30am) – we just lost track of time! I told him I wanted to take things slow and he was the perfect gentleman and respected my boundaries. He was attentive and kind all evening, making sure I was happy and comfortable, paying for everything (even though I offered on several occasions) and making sure I got home safely at the end of the evening. He asked me to text him in the morning (and later admitted that he was sitting around waiting for me to text!) and said he had a great time.
When I text him (on Saturday) he wanted to see me again that day, so I agreed to meet for a coffee. The next thing I know, 8 hours had past and we were still hanging out together. Again, it was another great date. He made a few hints about things being more than just one weekend or a fling together and things went really smoothly. We had no awkwardness or nervousness. We’re really comfortable with each other, it’s like we’ve been together a little while. He asked me back to his place for a movie and said I was welcome to stay (in the guest room, if I wanted to) or he would drive me home at the end of the evening – it was my choice. We went back to his place and we watched a movie together. He has a daughter from a previous marriage (he’s been divorced for several years now) and I met her, then the three of us hung out watching a movie together. I chose to go home at the end of the evening instead of staying (I’m trying to take things at an appropriate pace) and he said he’d like to see me again soon and that he really enjoyed our time together. He texted me straight away once he was home and we texted for a little while before going to sleep.
Next morning (Sunday), he text me again and asked me over for dinner that night. He was going to cook for us! =) Anyway, I have plans with a friend tonight, so I told him I couldn’t make it (and explained why) but suggested we could do the dinner next weekend. He was fine with that and we continued to text a bit more.
Anyway, I’ve been out of the dating scene a little while (having been in a LTR) and I was wondering – how do I know if he’s serious (i.e. wanting to be my boyfriend)? how do I know when we become boyfriend/girlfriend? He’s a bit older than me (he’s 40, I’m 22) so how do I know if he’s taking me seriously as oppposed to just some young thing to have some fun with? I’m mature for my age and have been careful with my sexual boundaries to show that I’m not just wanting a fling, but I want to be sure. He seems genuine and I have a good feeling about it, but how can I tell for sure?