Dating and exclusivity?

posted 5 days ago in Relationships
Post # 46
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

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Brideordie :  lol. Now you’re being obtuse and you know it. I’m done. You know exactly what I mean. As long as you don’t understand the terms you use in your comments and refuse to learn them correctly you’ll get the same treatment on these boards as you have been. And your opinion being based on wrong information invalidates your stance on posts. 

Post # 48
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

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MadamMiko :  well good luck with everything and don’t feel like you have to rush into things with this guy to keep him/scarcity mindset. Yes, some people like to date/marry like-cultured people for many beneficial reasons but rushing into things after a couple of months because it’s “in your russian culture” doesn’t make sense. It’s ok to be alone for a bit. Good luck.

Post # 49
Member
12792 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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MadamMiko :  OP, There are no limit to the number of intelligent, successful women who are not too smart when it comes to dating. You asked about exclusivity and did get your answer, just not one you liked. Namely, that exclusivity is inappropriate for someone you met twice as a friend of friend and have only Facetimed long distance since.

People can’t hide much when you date in person. Think of all the interaction with the world you don’t see online. How someone deals with others. Body language. How he functions in the real world.  

Believe me, you don’t really know him at this point. As I said before, even if this kind of matchmaking is common in your circles, it still doesn’t make it advisable to jump into an exclusive arrangement this quickly. A premature commitment should not be the goal here. A happy, lasting and compatible relationship should be. 

It’s moot right now anyway because of the crisis, but don’t fool yourself into imagining that Facetime or phone conversations compare to real dating. My advice is the same. Take your time and keep your options open. 

Post # 50
Member
406 posts
Helper bee

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MadamMiko :  Good for you. I’ve learned in my time reading these boards to take the advice with a grain of salt.

You do you.

Post # 51
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

 

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Brideordie : “you do you”.  Then what’s the point of being on here, doing for advice?

Post # 52
Member
406 posts
Helper bee

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lifeisbeeutiful :  Advice is great. Tearing someone down and inferring things from their post that simply aren’t there is another (I’m not saying you do). Or as we’ve seen from this post, people thinking they know someone owns life better than them. Sure give advice, but if the OP clarifies this or that, don’t tell them they’re wrong. Some people (again I’m not saying you do) only seem to want to feel superior by playing keyboard psychologist and diagnosing people and their relationships no matter what they say.

Post # 53
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

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Brideordie :  no one is tearing OP down. Everyone is telling her to slow down. No point in being overly dramatic. 

Post # 54
Member
406 posts
Helper bee

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lifeisbeeutiful :  From her comments it seems she feels different. But I can’t talk for her. This isn’t worth arguing about anyway.

Post # 55
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

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Brideordie :  it’s important to stay objective regarding other people’s advice and not label them as wanting to feel “superior” . I’m sure in your ece course you’ve learned the difference between being objective and subjective during observations. But maybe not. 

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