- 2 months ago
- Wedding: October 2019
I feel like I started this thread with a question about exclusivity and got a ton of unsolicited advice about what I should / shouldn’t do about moving across country, what I should / shouldn’t do starting new relationship and getting a life / hobbies. Oh and someone called BS on me saying people in my culture relocate for a relationship.
For the record, I do have a life, I’m ivy educated, have a career, a hobby, friends, and I am aware of the process it takes to process past relationships. I’m not broken and I’m not looking for the next thing to fill a void. About relocation — it IS common for people of a certain cultural background to seek those of similar cultural make-up. I have seen a ton of these people from our mini-communities make moves not just across country, but across the globe. Maybe those who called BS don’t believe me, that’s OK. I’m not seeking validation on that point.
There have been some good points made on this thread for sure but I’m really disappointed how people are so quick to spew judgement and telling me how I should. be living my life this way and that way, etc. No one knows the full story (obv) and I provided just enough detail to my story to help answer the question about exclusivity that I asked — nothing more.
I’ll be withdrawing from this thread and taking a break from these boards. Thanks to those with the helpful points.
People can’t hide much when you date in person. Think of all the interaction with the world you don’t see online. How someone deals with others. Body language. How he functions in the real world.
Believe me, you don’t really know him at this point. As I said before, even if this kind of matchmaking is common in your circles, it still doesn’t make it advisable to jump into an exclusive arrangement this quickly. A premature commitment should not be the goal here. A happy, lasting and compatible relationship should be.
It’s moot right now anyway because of the crisis, but don’t fool yourself into imagining that Facetime or phone conversations compare to real dating. My advice is the same. Take your time and keep your options open.
About relocation — it IS common for people of a certain cultural background to seek those of similar cultural make-up. I have seen a ton of these people from our mini-communities make moves not just across country, but across the globe. Maybe those who called BS don’t believe me, that’s OK.
I’m a Russian Canadian expat living and working in the US. I, just like many others of our shared heritage, moved to the other side of the world and then did it again and again – but for my education and career and not some random dick. That’s why I called bullshit on your attempt to present your plans as if you’re a freakin’ Decembrist wife.
I really think we need to stop giving
“Then what’s the point of being on here, doing for advice?”
To get a different perspective? To vent, to get things out of one’s head and written down? These are well-known therapeutic tools when someone is processing a situation.
The ultimate decision ALWAYS lies with the OP. They have the absolute right to read all the advice given and ignore all of it, if they wish. Not sure why posters get their knickers in a knot about that. You can give advice and the person listening can disagree and disregard it if they wish.