(Closed) Dating for 12 years without a proposal?

• sophia1162
• 3 years ago

echomomm : I don’t have any children.. That’s my fault if I gave that impression. I have stayed because I do love him and our life together. Also, I didn’t want to risk the grass not being greener on the other side. I should have stated that he treats me very well. I am very lucky and shouldn’t complain, however, not ever being asked to married has taken its toll on me (some days). 

Also, I didn’t write that to be attacked. I was thinking we’re all in the same boat and maybe it would be therapeutic. Maybe it would be nice to have people relate. 

• happiekrappie
• 3 years ago

sophia1162 :  oh, bee this makes me so sad…it’s time for you to put yourself first and stop letting him break your self esteem down like this by not marrying you. please realize that no human being deserves to feel this way, and that you *are* worthy of marriage and true commitment. If someone makes you feel otherwise, you shouldn’t be with them!!!

 

ETA: it doesn’t matter how “good” he is to you. If he sees you in constant torment, self esteem dwindling, resentment building, *knows he’s the only one who can fix these things*, and STILL refuses to act, he just might not love you as much as you think he does. Why don’t you think you deserve to find someone who can’t wait to marry you?!

• j9marie
• 3 years ago

• Wedding: September 2017

My father just married his girlfriend of 18 years.  They started dating as adults.  As neither of them planned on having children together I just don’t think there was such a huge push to get married.  They live in Germany and it is my understanding that people from Germany in general date longer, marry at an older age than they do here in the US.

I was surprised when they married this year.  My father just said that they are both happy together and felt it would help care for one another as they age.  I should also mention that my fathers wife is significantly younger than him, 14 years his junior.  I personally don’t think long term dating is wrong, or an issue so long both individuals in the relationship are in agreement are happy.  Not everyone is rushing to the alter or “waiting”.

• chatnoir
• 3 years ago

Obviously, an old thread, but since it has been resurrected… lol..

I had been with my now husband for 12 years before he proposed to me, which I did not know he was going to do. I never EXPECTED to get married to my husband, but if it happened that would have been completely perfect. We were in a long-term relationship from very early on, and throughout the years have even joked about old-age together, even if we never were considering marriage about that point. I have always been honest with my husband throughout our relationship that at some point I wanted to get married in life, but I also was honest that I didn’t have to get married to want to continue to be with each other for the long-term future. We both are very serious about commitments, and both love each other.

But in the end, he proposed and told me that he had been thinking about this for a long time and wanted us both to be in the right place in life, due to certain life circumstances. I really appreciated this. These things happen when they are supposed to happen, and I try not to judge others for their relationship decisions.