Dating for 3 months – a number of things bugging me, should I cut the cord now?

posted 6 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
186 posts
Blushing bee

The fact that he cheated with his friends 18-year-old girlfriend for 6 months would be the only reason I need to leave. Get out now.

Post # 3
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I’d break up with him. You don’t seem capable with each other at all, and you’d just be wasting your time if you continue dating. 

Post # 4
1024 posts
Bumble bee

Trust your gut!! Cut your losses while you’re not too attached yet. There are lots of red flags with this guy. You can find better

Post # 5
7678 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

He’s broke, the sex is mediocre, and he admitted to being a cheater without remorse? I’d be done. 

Post # 6
1055 posts
Bumble bee

I’d call this one off, Bee. You can do better. Porn addiction affecting your sex life, money problems, and no remorse about cheating? There are so many men without these issues, and right now, you’ve got yourself a trifecta. Go find a guy who is relationship-ready. This one isn’t. 

Post # 7
1958 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

ladyinred29 :  you’re 3 months in, there shouldn’t be this many issues.

Sex and finances are too big issues in a relationship and a reason a lot of relationships end. You have incompatibility on both, in a new relationship. Cut your losses.

Tbh that was answer reading the title, even without the details. If you have to ask at 3 months, then you know you’re answer.

Post # 9
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

Mmm yep that’s too much baggage for 3 months. Sleeping with his friend’s girlfriend for 6 months behind his back? Big HELL no. Leave before you’re in too deep.

Post # 13
1891 posts
Buzzing bee

I say trust your gut. In my experiece my gut has never lead me wrong. If you think he isn’t the one for you 3 months in, your probably right.

In my opinion this early on in a relationship it shouldn’t be this hard. I understand that people go through ups and downs, but I personally don’t think i would want to date a guy who I had to give money to, especially that early in dating.  A man who is financially independent and is decent with his spending habits was a HUGE requirement for me. I was 33 when I met my boyfriend and I was looking specifically for a guy who was marriage material. More than that, I was very proud of myself and how I was independent, financially responsible, had a good job, and my own apartment. I wanted someone who I could also be proud of and was exactly where I was in life too. Someone who had their life totally together, a career, financially secure, responsible. 

Id say these things you have mentioned about this guy aren’t enormous red flags, but they speak to who he is as a person, and his character. A guy who is willing to take money from the girl he just started dating? ICK. A guy who slept with his friends girlfriend for 6 months with no remorse? ICK. 

Here is the thing about “abandoning him”. That isnt’ a thing. You don’t owe this guy anything. You aren’t responsible for him AT ALL. He is his own person responsible for his own life. The whole point of dating people is to essentially figure out if you are a good match or not. If you aren’t, then so be it. That is part of dating. You have rights here too. The right to be with someone who is a good fit for you. If at ANY POINT in a relationship you realize it doesn’t work for you, then you get out. Besides, you think any man your dating for 3 months would stay with you simply because he felt that ending it would be abandoning the girl? haha NO. Guys don’t think like that, so neither should we. 

And please, please don’t fall into that trap of thinking that if you end one relationship, that you won’t find another one, or that you will regret it forever etc. There are wayyyy too many people out there in the world to think that way. There isn’t only one person in the world for you. Ive learned that lesson so many times I can’t even tell you. Look at older people, who have their wife die and then at 75 find the love of their life. Dating from a mindset of scarcity never works. 

Post # 14
1891 posts
Buzzing bee

Just wanted to add, if you are in a relationship where you IN ANY WAY, feel like it is your job to “save” or “fix” the other person? Then you need to get the hell out of that relationship. That isn’t normal, or healthy. If you find yourself always getting into that situation in your relationships? Than it is because you are purposely choosing people like that and maybe its time to see someone about why you are doing that. 

Post # 15
6411 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

There shouldn’t be any hesitation to leave at this point. Three months isn’t even an “investment”. There shouldn’t be this many issues;  just leave now. 

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