Dating for 3 months – a number of things bugging me, should I cut the cord now?

posted 7 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
2917 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

ladyinred29 :  This guy is a total loser, I assume he is at least 30 based on the fact that he slept with an 18 year and at that time she was 10 years younger than him. He clearly doesn’t have his shit together financially and doesn’t sound like he’s attempting to do so if he’s borrowing money from you and rather than using it towards his “debts” he’s blowing it on random shit. 

That coupled with sleeping with his friends girlfriend behind his back for SIX MONTHS, no thanks.

Post # 20
Member
3393 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

When. You’re only a few months in, you’re in that sweet spot where you don’t need “good” reasons not to stick it out if you’re just not feeling it… The fact that you happen to have good reasons not to continue with this guy makes it a pretty clear decision. 

Three months in you shouldn’t be lending money and having ongoing sexual problems. If it was just a matter of liking different things I’d say you should put the effort into expanding your horizons a little (it does seem a bit odd that you expect men to cater to your wants and needs but have no desire to switch things up to meet their desires), but this goes beyond just trying to find your balance in the bedroom. And I’d be skeeved out by any dude who was fucking a barely legal teen for 6 months even if she wasnt his friends gf… 

Post # 21
Member
2917 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

ladyinred29 :  I haven’t always been great with money either, but yeah having you pay him back for a coffee? For 3 months in having this many issues I would just call it quits, this should be your honeymoon stage! 

Post # 23
Member
6383 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

Go with your gut.

Post # 24
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

ladyinred29 :  I think my issue is I feel like I am a rescuer always out to save the wounded animals, I seem to be drawn to guys who have issues in one way or another, I don’t know how or why I don’t deliberately seek them out.

Unfortunately, I do this exact same thing. As my mom has told me, I like to take in strays. :/ I’m trying to understand why I do this to myself. I think part of it, for me, is that I feel like they NEED me and if they don’t NEED me, why would they want me? I don’t have low self asteem but I think part of me must feel like I don’t deserve someone who has it all together. 

Post # 25
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

ladyinred29 :   I wonder whether I am even cut out for relationships and whether things that I pick up on are valid concerns or whether I am just finding reasons as to why it isn’t or shouldn’t work. 

I say this to myself a lot, too!! Like, ‘Oh well I’m going to find some issue with whoever I’m dating and make a deal about it..” “Maybe I’m just not good at this..” I’m sorry to hear you’re struggeling. I can relate to your post quite a bit. 

Post # 27
Member
1340 posts
Bumble bee

This guy is a loser. He has major financial issues and is borrowing money off you only three months into the relationship, he slept with his best friend’s 18 year old girlfriend for 6 months, has a porn addiction which has left him with erectile dysfunction, on top of that he has mental health issues (myself and my partner both suffer with anxiety, so I’m not saying he’s a loser based off that, but it’s not making things easier) and the sex is crap.

I can’t see any reason at all to continue seeing him. 

Post # 29
Member
6663 posts
Bee Keeper

Bee–this guy already sounds creepy and you’ve only scratched the surface. He slept with his friend’s girlfriend for six months FFS. Ick. 

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