Dating for 3 months – a number of things bugging me, should I cut the cord now?

posted 4 months ago in Relationships
Post # 46
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

If you’re not exclusive with him, just tell him this relationship is not going to work out for you and you’d like to see other people. Wish him well and be on your way. Forget about the $10, call it the “stupid tax” on dating someone for months who clearly isn’t a good match for you. Not a huge price to pay either compared to if you had been say, three years into this vs. three months. 

Post # 47
Member
544 posts
Busy bee

Just continue to date until you find a guy who is the right fit. Your gut will know it. Don’t spend any time worrying about not finding anyone… there are more than 7 billion people in the world for heaven’s sake. You could date all day every day and never run out of people.

As for how to break up with this guy – Since it’s been 3 months of seeing each other quite regularly and you’ve slept together, I think breaking things off by text is too cold. You also don’t want to drag it out, so a coffee shop or public place where you can have a brief conversation is ideal.

Just make it short, kind, and to the point. Then get back out there as soon as you feel ready. You will eventually learn how to start picking guys better and get better at not rescuing them. You’re still very young. 🙂

Post # 48
Member
4697 posts
Honey bee

Normally I’d say in person is a must but he’s got so many negatives (icky on the sleeping with his friends gf thats 18). In this instance I think it’s fine ro text end it especially if you think he’ll convince you to stay or ask for more money. Protect yourself text him now. 

Post # 53
Member
930 posts
Busy bee

Girl, plenty of other “nice” men that will share other similarities on all other subjects, minus sexual intercourse.

Be free, ladybug! 🙂

Post # 54
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

ladyinred29 :  You can still say the same thing then, and it will be just as effective. If you haven’t had the talk, then you’re not exclusive technically. Just tell him that although you think he’s a nice person, it just isn’t going to work out for you and you’d like to see other people. 

Post # 55
Member
3547 posts
Sugar bee

Let’s review: mental  health issues, no money, can’t sustain an erection? It’s a trifecta of bad right there. You may be submissive, but you’re not desperate. Let someone who is have him.

Post # 56
Member
3589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

ladyinred29 :  If you’re going to date, you have to get comfortable with having uncomfortable conversations. No one likes making someone feel bad. Breaking up with someone just plain sucks. But hanging onto them just so you don’t have to break up with them is much worse.  No one wants to be pitied. You know what you need to do, I hope you find a way to make it as painless as possible!

Post # 59
Member
544 posts
Busy bee

ladyinred29 :  

“I just find the dating pool is a little limited where I live, I am in a small city towards the East of England”

But isn’t the great thing about England the fact that it’s a fairly small country and travel is easy and convenient? Consider opening up your dating options to guys in neighbouring towns and cities. It’s probably doable, and worth it if you find the right guy.

Post # 60
Member
1153 posts
Bumble bee

“Nice” is a bare minimum. It’s like “nice guys” who claim to never get girls, but if you got to know them you’ll find they have a lot of issues that women don’t want to associate with..  but they’re “nice” right? 

Everyone should be nice, decent, kind. If they’re not that, it’s an instant disqualification. But just because they are nice, doesn’t mean you should date them. I can’t tell you how many friends’ husbands that I thought was nice and decent cheated on them. Because they are conflict avoidant and low EQ, so they don’t want to communicate about issues. Instead they seek other “outlets” to escape the issues.

Aligned values, life goals, characters and personalities are important. 

Also 28 is young. I met my fiancé at 30.5, and a month before that, I was dating the wrong guy and decided to cut him off. Allow yourself to make mistakes, but not for too long. 3 months is enough. Get out as soon as you realise they’re not the right guys. Because that’s when you actually have a chance to meet the right guy.

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