You’re a nurturing person, Bee. I get that. I dare say most of us get that. You are drawn to wounded animals. Fine. How about channeling some of your beautiful capacity for love and caring into a volunteer position helping animals in need?
That would be much healthier and more constructive than continuing on with the reclamation project of a bf you have on your hands.
Reality check: you cannot fix him, help him, or change him. You don’t have the power to change anyone but you. Nor do you have the right to change him. He has free will. His life looks asinine to most of us, but it’s his path. He is the one who has to walk it.
Reality Check II: about your worries over breaking his delicate little heart. We see this a lot on this board from good, loving women involved with dreadful partners.
Allow me to assure you that he is not a rare and precious little hothouse orchid. He will not drop his blooms, wilt, and die. He may pitch a fake tantrum; or, depending on his innate level of laziness, deliver an Oscar-worthy performance, complete with a few man tears. Not because he cares so deeply for you. It’s just easier to keep it going with you than to start over.
Being a grown ass man still living with mommy and daddy strongly suggests to me that this guy is not exactly highly driven toward any life goals.
Or, he may shrug and walk away.
Here is where our dear Bees wrap themselves around their own axels—they fail to understand that guys like this don’t feel things the way we do.
He is not going to be devastated, Bee. Ignore any floor show he may stage.
Reality Check III: now, to get to the real nub of the thing; have you taken any time to consider how come you have set your bar so low? As the other Bees have been saying, the positives you describe are the barest of minimums.
He only seems decent to you because the others were worse.
We tend to repeat our patterns until we can bring our unconscious drivers forward into conscious awareness. Focus on getting yourself healthier, Bee, and you won’t give a guy like this two minutes of your valuable time.