Dating someone in the mutual friend's group? Bad Idea? Or Success Stories?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Did you successfully date / marry someone from a shared friend's group?
    YES. : (5 votes)
    33 %
    NO. : (1 votes)
    7 %
    BAD BLOOD / AVOID AT ALL COSTS. : (2 votes)
    13 %
    GREAT WAY TO FIND A PARTNER. : (7 votes)
    47 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1639 posts
    Bumble bee

    I don’t see the big deal. You mess up the friend group and cause drama if you handle the breakup poorly, not if you merely choose to date. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    6435 posts
    Bee Keeper

    They were both friends with you before you started dating this dude so I’m sure they can handle it if you broke up.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1566 posts
    Bumble bee

    Normally I would say that friend groups are a great place to meet an SO, however:

    “my fear is that if we date / hookup and things don’t go well that I know myself and I will want to avoid everything that he is at because I’ll be embarrassed and self conscious.”

    So in this case I’d say stop seeing him if you can’t handle it not working out.

    And seriously think about some therapy/counseling to help you overcome this issue. There’s too much life out there to avoid things because you are embarrassed and self conscious.

    Post # 6
    Member
    720 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    curiouscat2017 :  THIS

    The question is honestly if you’re able to date a person within your mutual friend group, knowing that it might not end up in a trip down the aisle, and be able to remain mutually respectful with that person even if they aren’t respectful to you after a breakup.

    A couple of good friends of mine got involved despite the fact that we were all in a mutual friend group (there were about five of us) and a few of us told the guy, we’ll call him “V”, that it was a super bad idea. “S” (who I was never really a huge fan of to begin with) got involved with V (who I’d been friends with for years before I we were ever all friends) even though she knew she wasn’t 100% committed and he was. Long story short when I was getting back together with my ex (huge storm) he asked my point blank if anything had ever gone down with V. Wanting to be honest and start fresh and work things out I admitted that things had happened at some point. I underestimated my ex’s friendship with S, and he went and told her. Despite the fact that all this went down before S & V ever got together, she lost her mind, she lost me as a friend, I lost V as a friend, and no one kept their cool. 

    Moral of the story- just know that there can be consequences, regardless of who keeps their cool, or not.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1870 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    It’s a great way to meet someone! My best friend introduced me to a guy nearly 11 years ago and we hit it off straight away, he is now my husband ☺️

    Post # 8
    Member
    120 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    Could work, could be a complete train wreck. 

     

    The key, I believe, is a sexless, surface connection unless you know for sure it’s something special. If it is, you’ll feel it in your soul. There will be some sort of mental and spiritual gravitational force between you two when it’s someone you’re meant to explore romantically. Until then, keep it strictly wining and dining, group events, and hanginging out without quite plunging to the depths of on another. There are many ways to enjoy a guy’s company without getting your heart in the equation and I think it’s best to utilize those ways before getting attached. That way, if things don’t work out, it’s a clean break. 

    This has been an effective filtering system for me during my singleness. It works wonders.  

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