(Closed) Daunted by the Wedding Price Tag

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee

You are definitely not alone. I have a breakdown almost every week over this, it seems. Fiance and I are just starting out, neither making much money. I have student loans to pay back and he’s making almost NOTHING with his job. My family absolutely can’t help whatsoever (getting them to be able to afford to attend a wedding is gonna be a chore), and we’re still trying to figure out if his will or won’t (we know they likely will, it’s just the task of getting a number commitment that’s hard to navigate b/c they’re less concrete numbers and more “we’ll pick up random things as you go” type people).

I’ve been trying to figure out ways to cut costs, but Fiance fights me at every suggestion because he wants it to be perfect and really, really nice. I try to explain to him that the idea of spending so much money is sickening to me, but he counters everything with how disappointed I’ll be if we skimp on anything. It’s so frustrating. I’d love to elope at this point, but he won’t let us.

The biggest issue for us is the reception venue. We’re trying to book an all-in-one place, and we’ve found a couple that are great but the price tags are enough to make you want to run screaming for the hills. *sigh*

Post # 4
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I totally feel you. In fact we had a nice long talk tonight on how we could possibly come up with the remaining $6000 in the 3 months before our wedding. Solution, we’re going to Vegas instead. There is just no possible way for us to come up with that money. We’ll have a small party at the venue later so that we don’t lose the deposit but as of now, May 3rd we’re headed to Vegas.

Post # 6
Member
1446 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m right there with you…I’m doing my wedding for about $5000, half of which was gifted to me by my Mom (which was a total shock). As for the other half, my Fiance and I are in grad school surviving off of a small stipend, so saving any money is difficult.

What I did was sit down and think about what mattered the most to me. I decided my honeymoon, the photographer, and my dress were all incredibly important to me, so I put my budget towards those items and cut extreme corners on everything else. Some days it’s really hard; this is the day I’ve dreamed of forever and some days it’s really emotional seeing how it’s not exactly what I thought of. But, I try not to lose sight of what’s important-although it’s hard!

Post # 7
Member
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

DIY!  That right there will save you LOADS and still have things look great.  One area is flowers.  With enough time, it’s not that hard to put together your own centerpieces and bouquets yourself using wholesale flowers and that can save hundreds of dollars right there. Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Ms.Ninja:  my finace is the same way…”we’ll figure it out”..”it’ll all workout”. drives me crazy. we’ve made so many deposits but exactly how are we coming up with all the money we owe them before the wedding?? looking to be about $12,000 in all right now…

Post # 10
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My parents are paying for our wedding up to x amount of dollars and I am still freaking out!! Everytime I sign a contract I think I have a small heart attack. It might not be our money, but for some reason watching that much money walk away so quickly scares the mother-loving s**t out of me!

Post # 11
Member
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I was really disappointed when I compared my budget to the wedding craziness but I have found ways to make my day exactly what I want for a reasonable price. Our budget is 10,000 which to me is an insane amount of money but once you start shaving off the cost of venues, photography, food, beverages, dresses, flowers yada yada yada the money goes fast. 

A few things we are doing to have our dream but not take out loans for a four hour event:

-food is nixed (we went with an afternoon wedding from 3-7 so everyone can eat afterwards and are thinking of doing an at home family only dinner afterwards)

-cake is buttercream (fondant adds up to $1 per piece at some bakerys and buttercream taste better anyways! we havent picked the cake but this is something we are planning to do to keep costs down)

-dress is going to be under 1k (if that means used, inexpensive dress, or sale racks its important to me to be beautiful but in budget)

-venue is double event worthy (ceremony and reception are on the same location which drastically decreased our costs and we found a great non profit venue that our money will go to a good cause instead of the wedding industry)

-decorations – we chose a venue with a lot of character so the decorations will pretty much just be on tables and some string lights with paper flowers overhead. having a great base to start with as opposed to a gym (like another venue my future hubby wanted) keeps the set up and the cost in check!

-flowers – we are using a ton of babys breath because it is so budget friendly and fits our vintage rustic romance theme, i have a large bridal party (7) so 5 of them are carrying babysbreath or babysbreath with a few accented florals and only me and the two MOHs will have a traditional bouquet.

alcohol is nixed – parents who are footing the bill refused anything but a cash bar but the venue charges for bartenders and security officers that makes it not worth it to us we are having a really good punch and potentially old timey glass coke bottles for the toasts!

reuse decorations – our theme uses mason jars for all the florals so the pew decorations will be moved to the table to help decrease cost and the amount we have to make (if we go DIY havent decided yet). We will use several jars per table so it will be mostly set up before the event but the ceremony jars will be used for the display tables for the cake, guest book table, picture set ups etc.

invitations – oh lord the drama this one caused with my mother but we will be doing DIY invites and save the dates because the prices can get really crazy for unique wedding stationary i will update more on this as i can.

cant think of much else right now but good luck ladies its possible! and I even considered doing the wedding for less and keeping some as a nest egg and found ways to make that a possible idea but changed my mind in the end.

Post # 12
Bee
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012 - El Faro Convention center, Aguadilla, Puerto Rico

*Raises hand

I almost had a heart attack when I saw how much cakes cost!

I originally wanted to elope, take the Eurotrip we had planned and get married during it but my family almost went crazy. My parents and his wanted us to have a wedding soooo much they offered to pay for everything if we didn’t elope.

My parents are paying for the wedding but have no savings and are penny pinching to be able to afford my $5,000 wedding. His parents were better $$$, but got laid off about 5 months ago (they started new jobs this month) and were having a hard time putting up their share (they wanted to pay for the trip). It’s has definitely been a challenge trying to plan a 100 person affair with a limited budget but it can be done.

I had to resort to have a morning reception because a evening wedding was 4X more expensive. It wasn’t what I envisioned, what I planned to have or what I wanted but it worked with my budget and now I LOVE how my morning wedding is coming along. My biggest tip would be to be flexible and to explore uncommon options.

So don’t despair, there’s alot of other ladies going through the same thing and you’ll have the Hive as a source of support and inspiration.

Post # 14
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

One thing to remember is that the “average” is above what most couples spend.  Apparently, only about one in four weddings is above $15,000.  However, a few really expensive weddings bring the average way up.

Post # 15
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Ms.Ninja: trust me you are not alone in this situation. I really think its these greedy vendors that make it so pricey. I am not sure about your but in my area if you do a party and say its not a wedding they will charge you like 50pp as soon as you say the word wedding it goes to 100 pp. Its really sad and annoying. I am trying to stick to vendors that are not trying to rob me blind. I had this one photo man try to charge me 5k just for pictures. I laughed in my head and told him i am sorry but I cannot see myself paying that much for some pictures. Hang in there and try to find good deals. We are getting married on a sunday to save $ and most of the stuff we buy I make sure we have coupons. I just got me dress for $448 and its brand spanking new! I am doing my own invites and got them at Michael’s with the 40% coupon.

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