(Closed) “Day After” Brunch

posted 9 years ago in Money
Post # 4
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Have your Fiance talk to his mom–if she contributed to the wedding and you’ve already set aside places for her money, well, it’s not really fair of her to spring this on you six weeks before since it’s only for *her* friends, not to mention you and your Fi aren’t even going! So, question: what’s the point in the day after wedding brunch if the B&G don’t even go?! Not to mention, you and your Fiance didn’t even get to invite many of your own friends to your OWN wedding, so it’s basically all your parents’ guests lists and families, so why is her brunch so exclusive? not her family, too? Plus your’e already way over budget–maybe he can explain to her what’s going on and that 6 weeks before the wedding means the money has already been set aside for “x, y, and z” and make sure x, y, and z equals “45 people YOU decided to invite” since she was so staunch about her guest list

Post # 5
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I agree 100% with ejs4y8.  Be staunch.  Her unwillingness to compromise on her guest list forced you to invite fewer of your friends because of budget constraints.  You already gave up enough.  If she pulls out funding for her friends, force her to cut some of her friends.

Post # 6
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Aw man, that’s ridiculously selfish of her.  Is she usually like this?  It’s a tough situation because I’m not sure that there really is a remedy here.  Someone is gonna be upset in the end.  If I were in that situation I’d have my Fiance speak to his mother and explain (as if she didn’t already know), that you guys need that money.  If her and her friends wanted to do brunch, why not just go out and each pay for themselves?  I mean hello, they just got drinks and a nice meal the day before!  I wish you the best of luck, I hope it works out.  And I wish I had a get rich scheme to pass along, unfortunately, I’m broke too.  I’m over budget and I’m still 9 months away, awesome.

Post # 7
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree, be firm and tell her that you were counting on that money for all of her guests.  I don’t know what she’s thinking, that’s not cool!  Good luck with med school!

Post # 9
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

My SIL’s mom did the same thing to my brother and her for their wedding.  She kept changing what she was paying for or how much she was giving.  Very frustrating.  My family ended up giving them more money to cover costs and she said she’d pay us back.  Been 4 months and hadn’t come through. 

I would for sure talk with her and let her know where the money was intended to go.  I would then say if we use the money for the brunch then we can’t have money to have a band or the cakes. 

Good luck

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