Post # 1
I’m getting married in June. I am having a mini-destination wedding so it is about 2-3 hours from home. People are expecting me to do a present opening but I don’t want to do one. Putting my feelings aside, I started looking into it and if I do it in the same city as my wedding, I am looking at spending at least $400-$500 to rent a room and provide food for those who come. I could do it when I get home but driving 2-3 hours, coming home and unloading all of our stuff (I bought my own decorations, centerpieces, etc.) then having a present opening in my tiny apartment (which not everyone will fit in) just sounds exhausting. If I do do it, I don’t want to do it days later, I’d rather just do it the day after the wedding and get it overwith. If people do bring gifts, I’m expecting mostly cards because it is a destination wedding and who wants to sit around watching me open cards?! Thoughts? Opinions?
Post # 2
Is a gift- opening traditional where you live?
I find the whole concept bizarre. Opening gifts in front of other people so they can all compare who gave what, how much money they spent etc has the potential to put your guests in a very uncomfortable positon.
I would not do it. I would open gifts as they come in and write thank-you notes ahead of the wedding (saves so much time later), and open cards and envelopes as soon after the wedding as we are able. Hopefully not too many of your guests show up with physical gifts. Those should always be sent to your home.
Post # 3
Who is pressuring you to have a gift-opening? If it’s your mom, maybe you could invite her over to your place after the honeymoon to open gifts if she really wants to be there for it.
Post # 4
If I knew someone was doing this, I would totally give them sex toys.
Post # 5
It was when my siblings got married 10+ years ago but that isn’t really the norm anymore. My best friend did one after her wedding a few years ago and it was like “why am I sitting here watching you open cards?!”.
Post # 6
Various immediate family memebers have mentioned it between siblings and parents. I’d rather just opening them on our own time after getting settled back in at home. Even if we just did immediate family, we both have a ton of siblings who are married and have kids, etc. so the smallest number would be about 35 people.
Post # 7
Eh. I’d only do it if it were convenient. We had a very low-key one at my parent’s house the morning after. It was small and the invitations were just word of mouth. We ordered bagels and had some brunch party trays out, and people stopped by. When we were actually opening our presents, there were maybe 10-15 people milling around, half of which were our immediate families.
Post # 8
My daughter and her husband only received cards, and what could fit in them, at their wedding. Imagine the embarasment to open a card, in front of guests, and say “this is from Uncle John and Aunt Mary” and guests at the gift-opening would see an amount of cash fall out.
Post # 9
Bummer. I think you just have to decide if being able to open them at your leisure is something you want enough to take a stance on. Good luck
Post # 10
Don’t do it. Huge waste of money and time, and no one enjoys it! It’s awkward and uncomfortable. If they want to watch you open your gift then they shold give theirs to you in private, but I see no reason to do a “gift opening”.
Post # 11
don’t give in.
i didn’t open mine until i got back from my honeymoon, 2 weeks later. it was mostly cards and checks. why would people want to watch that.
Post # 12
- Wedding: September 2013 - Outdoor
We opened gifts and sent thank you cards as they came in before the wedding, but we also opened the rest the morning after at my grandma’s with basically just my immediate family, probably 10-15 people. I think it made it more fun than just opening them by ourselves. Actually even the gifts that came before the wedding were opened at my grandma’s because we had put her address on our registry since our apartment wasn’t secure for receiving packages. But in your case it doesn’t make sense to get a separate venue or have to take everything home and do it after. Plus you don’t want to do it- So when people bring it up, just say, no, we won’t be doing that.
Post # 13
Sounds gross, just say no. I can’t believe this is even a thing. Nothing against you, I know in some areas/circles, it IS a thing, but it just seems so so crass to me. Inviting an audience to come judge your loot-haul? YUCK.
Post # 14
I just spit girl scout cookies all over my computer screen. You win the internet today!
Post # 15
I’ve never heard of this. I don’t plan on doing one either, but most of my guests will have to fly or drive 2+ hours to get to our wedding. We had friends that had a “couples shower”. Both men and women were invited. There was food and booze. A couple of games and then opening gifts. I like this because it makes it about the couple and their marriage. Not just the bride getting married (which takes me back to the 50’s when marriage was like, a woman’s greatest acheivment in life). Might be a solution? Use the shower as a “gift opening”.
Also, people aren’t supposed to get you seperate gifts for the shower and the wedding, are they? Asking for myself because I don’t know. But it just seems excessive.