Post # 1
I live in suffolk county NY which all my guests live in the same county as well. My wedding is being held out east at a beutiful venue by riverhead and I booked a hotel in the area and reserved rooms which the guests are paying for if they choose to stay. The only thing I was gonna provide is the Shuttle service taking them from the hotel to the venue and the venue to the hotel.
Now, I have them asking me If I’m providing breakfast brunch the next day… My fiance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves with no help at all. Times are hard and I feel that they are not understanding my financial situation. Also, we are not taking our honeymoon till the summer so we can save for that now and they are fully aware of that.
Is it customary for Bride and Groom to provide that?????
Post # 3
@silver25: You are NOT required to provide brunch, you really don’t even need to have a huge reception either. That being said, guests don’t have to bring gifts either 🙂 If you’ve read much on these boards, you’ll find that Long Island/NYC is especially crazy about guest expections for weddings.
It seems that with today’s weddings, if guests are staying at hotels for your wedding, they do tend to expect more than just the traditional cermony and reception. We are doing a wedding up in the Finger Lakes where almost all of our guests need to travel a few hours and stay in hotels – so we are offering a welcome cocktail hour, the regular reception, an after party and then a brunch buffet the day after the wedding. We are paying for it all ourselves too and it’s definitely challenging to keep the budget in line.
I personally think it’s a bit rude for your guests to ask if you are providing them with breakfast the next morning though – so far anyone that I have told about what we are providing is really gracious about it.
If they start to get really annoying, you can mention that there is a bagel shop up the road.
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
A day after brunch is becoming more common. We had one for our guests, and we really enjoyed getting to spend even more time with them. But if it’s simply not in your budget, I wouldn’t stress over it. It’s an option, NOT a requirement.
Post # 5
I don’t think you’re required to do anything you don’t want to. Especially if you don’t have the finances to do it. Your friends will understand, they should just be happy to celebrate such a joyous occasion!
We did have a day after brunch for our wedding party. I would say no one in our wedding expected it or even realized there was such a thing. But this was the 1 event we had all weekend where we’d have the opportunity to spend time with just our wedding party and their SOs so we wanted to do this for them.
Post # 6
It’s becoming more common, but it’s definitely not required. My mom and step-mom have been disagreeing about this- my step-mom says we have to have a next-day brunch because we have so many out-of-town guests, and my mom wants to have gift opening w/ just the close family the next morning.
Does the hotel you are using serve breakfast? A lot of hotels offer at least a small breakfast buffet. If they do, then you could stop by the breakfast area at the hotel in the morning to great the people who stayed there, and you wouldn’t have to put together or pay for brunch yourself.
Post # 7
Thank you all so much for your responses. What’s crazy is that everyone staying at the hotel lives about 1 hour away.
With that being said my husband to be birthday is the next day after our wedding and I would like to spend the day at the spa with him so we can relax after all this craziness.
Post # 8
Tell them you were not plannin on organizing or planning anything, as you are likely to be tired and would like to sleep in with your new Mr. Provide them some recommendations of where to go (the Cook Room!) or maybe include some granola bars/fruits/juices in welcome bags for them.
Post # 9
I hope not! The last thing I want to do the day after my wedding is get up early!
Post # 10
My sister in law did it at the 56th Fighter Group and it was fine. We went for their brunch special.
Post # 11
If you have access to a house, a private area of a hotel or some other space to spread out a bit, you could set up a nice coffee, orange juice bagel and pastry spread. I am planning on doing something like this for my wedding next year at my parent’s house they are renting for the week.
Post # 12
You are NOT required to provide anything.
Post # 13
I’m having the same issue! I live (and am getting married) out in Sag Harbor. I haven’t even been able to sort out hotel accommodations for my guests yet and people are bringing up the morning after brunch. My guests that are spending the night there are probably going to be scattered throughout a couple nearby (overpriced) hotels. My sister reccommended maybe doing something at our house with bagels/muffins/etc, but I think that’ll just be too much for us. We’re paying for the whole wedding ourselves and my fiance doesn’t want to have a brunch AT ALL. I guess I have plenty of time to sort something (if anything) out. But it’s crazy how much your guests expect from you these days!!
Post # 14
We had a day wedding and people kept asking us about an after party!! We didn’t do a day after brunch… so it’s not the same BUT we just kept reminding everyone we wanted to be alone, relax, and enjoy our first day/night being married!
Usually it’s the bride’s parents, anyway. My mother in law did not chip in for one single thing for the wedding… we didn’t even have a rehearsal dinner because they didn’t want to foot the bill. After we and my parents spent 50k on the wedding, they couldn’t handle a small dinner?? (They have more than enough money….) We just ignored all this and didn’t ever say that we can’t afford it… we didn’t want to see each other the day before (true), and having a rehearsal dinner the week before wouldn’t be possible because many family members and bridal party members were coming from out of state.
Don’t worry about it!
Post # 14
Oh man. Wondering what OP ended up doing. My fiancé and I are in a similar situation. We are paying for the rehearsal dinner ourselves, because his family has not offered to pay for anything for the wedding. Living in NY, and doing that in a nice and moderately priced restaurant will run around 4k alone!
The only people traveling a great distance are my fiance’s family and my siblings. We plan to have them over for an intimate BBQ the next afternoon. All other guests are either local, or traveling up from the city, which is only a 90 minute drive.
I hope people don’t think we’re ungracious – it’s just too much, though.
Post # 15
Well, while it’s not required, I think it’s a nice thing to do. Even if they only live an hour away, they still have to get a hotel. That plus roundtrip gas and the wedding gift means that they are probably spending $200-$400 on going to your wedding.
We’re going to have a simple breakfast spread. Just going to Costco and load up on cereal, muffins, bagels, smoked salmon, sliced meats and cheese.