"Day Without a Woman"

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 136
Member
740 posts
Busy bee

FutureDrAtkins :  I’m also an engineer and the struggle was real back in school. I don’t have my masters but during undergrad I swear most people stared at me as if I was talking out of my ass. I wouldn’t get “randomly” picked to do research projects (despite my almost perfect GPA) and I had no one to study with except this black guy because apparently to everyone else we were incapable [probably] because I’m a female and he’s black. (I’m not complaining i had to study with him… its just weird we were basically the only two who somehow didnt fit in to any of the other study groups that consisted mostly of.. comeon you know which group im talking about) Some will call me crazy and say “are you sure it’s because you’re a female and he’s black? No other reason? That doesn’t make sense.” Or whatever myth they want to believe. Oh and get this, I ended up graduating summa cum laude 

I’m now working for a a tech firm and my department is the most diverse with 10% non white males… smh

Rant done. Excuse my horrible writing skills for I literally did not give a shit while venting. 

I’m so sorry about what happened with your fellowship. It really sucks that females in the engineering field are automatically seen as less capable just because we are female. 

Post # 137
Member
9568 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

MrsMellyBean :  I wouldn’t say I dont face it, fwiw. I certainly have it way better than others, even within my field, but there are still gender related issues that bother me quite a bit. Unfortunately, not showing up for work wouldn’t solve any of that at my place of work (mostly because as I said.. no one would even notice lol). :/  Problem is.. I dunno what *will* help, you know?

How do I change the fact that I feel ill need to keep my pregnancy a secret from my boss until the 2nd trimester because it’ll hurt my career when they find out whether or not I miscarry (so better to not let ppl know until it’s unlikely I miscarry)? How do I change the fact that women of equal publication, service, and teaching records get significantly fewer promotions and once promoted get paid less, in my field? maybe a walk out sort of event (would you say that’s what today is?) is the right way, and I’m just not seeing it.  am I being defeatist? I hope not, but it’s hard to judge that for myself.

just thinking aloud… 

Post # 138
Member
1484 posts
Bumble bee

stefzbee :  I would also like to make a donation to planned parenthood today. Do you have a link?

Post # 139
Member
9568 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

Peachytalk :  

things to know: you can make a general donation to PP, and if so half the money goes to your local chapter which funds pp services locally and half goes to the planned parenthood federation of america.. which is the America wide portion that works on laws and policies.  depending where you live and how you feel, you may want to specifically donate to one or the other. you can also specifically donate to a local chapter in another state if you feel there is a specific area that has greater need than where you live.

you can choose both or a specific chapter at ppaction.org/ppdonate or to give 100% to the action fund at ppaction.org/donate

Post # 141
Member
9568 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

Katie-Didnt :  great points. I can get on board with that.

Post # 142
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee

amanda1988 :  I feel you! I’m so sorry you have to keep your pregnancy a secret at work in case you miscarry, that’s awful. I’ve had the misfortune of undergoing 2 myself and it was nice to have the support from my boss and workplace. I don’t know what the right way to go about things is either. I don’t really think it would matter much if I didn’t show up for work today either, which is.. discouraging haha. I hope that attitudes will change with the education of younger generations, because the way things are is depressing as heck.

Post # 143
Member
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m in engineering too and although I don’t know if I suffer from income inequality I had to deal with the stigma of being a female in a male dominated field.  Sometimes I’m the only female in my meetings and I need to work twice as hard to prove my arguements.  I’ve had men with zero experience in my field overtake my decisions because people trusted their feelings(male) over mine even when I had taken hours to develop a report that is fully referenced, despite my significant years of experience. I’ve also had coworkers (female) be told that they’d be taken more seriously if she wore more makeup.  I wish I was kidding but I’m not.  Additionally your behavior always has to be tailored, you can’t be to aggressive or blunt like men in the office otherwise you are not cooperative, but you can’t be passive because otherwise you aren’t taken seriously.

I also was turned down a training opportunity due to potentially being unable to use my skills (aka be pregnant).

I am lucky though that I have a great boss who is supportive of my skills and development but sadly that is a minority in the tech and engineering world.

Post # 144
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee

FutureDrAtkins :  haha- pretty punny. Hope that made you feel better.

For about the 50th time, if you were discriminated on based on you gender, that is not right. That should not have happened to you. The narrative that I called a myth is that all or most women are underpaid and discriminated upon by their employer. This myth is (from what I can tell) a crux of the day without women stance. And it’s false. 

That doesn’t take away or delegitimize an issue you might be facing. The pay-gap doesn’t exist as a whole, but you might personally be discriminated upon. That can happen, and I didn’t say it couldn’t. I still think your statement that the ONLY reason you weren’t picked is because you’re not a white, christian male is probably untrue, but we’ll agree to disagree there. 

You’ve tried to spin and intentionally misintepret nearly all of my posts. That’s a low way to go through a debate, and i called you out on it. A pithy comment about your reading comprehension isn’t a personal insult to your intelligence (c’mon. blowing it waaaaay out of proportion). 

I’m also not a secret agent with two accounts backing myself up or liking my own posts. That gave me a good chuckle (as did the overalls graphic). So thanks for the laughs. And- if you want to point fingers as to who made a sassy comment first, you’re pointing to the wrong person. 

Post # 146
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee

MrsMellyBean :   Just took a look through. It doesn’t say how the math works to come to that 87 cents. If its the same as the 77 cents arguement, the math is flawed. I posted a vid on here earlier today that walks through why it’s false. The math in the video comes to 6 cents pay gap, which makes a lot more sense when you factor in the choices that men and women make. 

Post # 147
Member
9568 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

Ettalie :  MrsMellyBean :  it’s so frustrating that women are punished for wanting/having children and men are not. it drives a lot of the wage gap in white collar jobs, according to current research.  I feel if we could make paternity leave standard we could equalize the role of primary childcare giver and reduce the gap.. make companies less scared that their female employees will get pregnant.

Post # 148
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee

italianbride0508 :  How can you say that the math is wrong because it doesn’t indicate how the calculations were made? It is comparing hours actually worked, not annual salary. It’s also not the same thing. Previous studies were taking people’s average salaries and inferring what that worked out to in a dollar per hour calculation. This study accounts for how many hours were actually worked.

The whole thing about “choices that men and women make” is exactly the kind of thing I’m getting at with social construct. Why are women typically gravitating towards certain industry/careers? It’s super complicating and has many factors, such as the things little ones are being told at a young age (what it means to be a boy vs. girl), the discrimination women who do go into male-dominated industries face, etc. 

 

 

Post # 149
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee

amanda1988 :  I agree, it is super frustrating that women get punished for wanting families. In Canada, we get a full year off work. We don’t get paid our full salary unless our employer chooses to top it up, but a man here can just as easily go on paternity leave and get the same benefits. One reason why it’s still typically the women that choose to stay home with their little ones is because the man makes more money so it makes more sense to keep the higher income. 🙁 My husband would love to stay home with our future little ones, but it just doesn’t make financial sense for us.

Post # 150
Member
9568 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

MrsMellyBean :  I didn’t realize men had the same benefit in canada. It’s frustrating of course that it doesn’t clear everything up but theoretically it should alleviate wage disparity at a given workplace. 

man, I wish it worked out that I could move back to toronto. having a year mat leave between me and Darling Husband would be awesome. more job opportunity for me and Darling Husband down here plus my dog looks like a pit bull so.. no Ontario for me. 🙁

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