Daycare vs. Nanny Advice and Stories

posted 4 months ago in Parenting
Post # 2
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I don’t have any experience with this but two of my neighbors do a nanny share and they rave about it! I’m sure other Bees will chime in but it’s something to consider. 

Post # 3
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

 I haven’t used any childcare yet but I’m due with my first in December and have pretty much always known we will go the daycare center route. We’ve toured a couple places, including KinderCare, the rates are actually a bit higher at the ones here in CO but my husband’s workplace has a discount at that chain so that’s what we’re gravitating to. It is a bit scary thinking of leaving our baby with “strangers” at 12 weeks old or so, it was strange for an office worker like me to walk into a room where two women are surrounded by like 5 babies each, I don’t know how they do it! But my husband and I like that there are standards in care at those places, and we know a couple with a child at the same center we are leaning towards that they put in at 6 weeks and he is doing great a year later so that makes us feel good about our choice. I had a Stay-At-Home Mom but my husband had two working parents and they pretty much just dropped him off everyday to watch TV with an older woman from church, so to us the trained staff with curriculums seems like we’re doing a lot for the kid lol. Some places let you stop in whenever you’d like so that’s a plus if you’re nervous for the first little while.

Post # 4
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Yeah, nannies are super expensive.  It’s a full-time job and people who can afford to consider a nanny usually want someone with childhood education and training, so it shouldn’t be surprising that they make a semi-livable wage.  (Not that I imagine $10/hr gets you very far in California!)

Our kiddo has gone to daycare since he was 3.5 months old.  (He did parttime for another 2 months after that.)  It’s super common.  Ours has a 4:1 ratio, so up to 4 babies per teacher and up to 8 babies in the room.  I personally don’t think it’s as good for their personal development as having a personal nanny, because they do get left to do their own thing a lot, just by necessity.  But, it is what it is.  My little guy is usually happy when I pick him up.  Our teachers really love our kiddo.  It’s also good for socialization – they learn to interact with little ones their own age.  Yes it’s hard to leave them there of course, especially when they’re teething or sick and upset.  But, it is what it is.  Our daycare has an app where we can check during the day and see when he’s napped, eaten, etc, which is cool.

Post # 7
Member
3442 posts
Sugar bee

Our son went to a church-based daycare center. He was five months old when he started because we could not find any spots any earlier. He would have one at 12 weeks had there been an opening. We’ve had a wonderful experience. I work from home so I have zero interest in being here with the kiddo and nanny. And I don’t want to be a nanny’s employer. No thank you. And I didn’t want to sit around every morning hoping the nanny shows up on time. Much easier to drop our kid off at daycare and let them worry about coverage when their employees call in sick or whatever. Our kid hasn’t been that sick (he’s a toddler now) despite what people said would happen due to daycare germs.

 

Post # 9
Member
3442 posts
Sugar bee

temeculabride :  On the flip side, you also need to consider dates the daycare center is closed.  For example, mine follows the school district calendar so it is closed the week of Thanksgiving, two weeks over Christmas and New Year, blah blah. 

Post # 10
Member
3442 posts
Sugar bee

Also I don’t want to freak you out but if you are due in November and in California, you need to start calling around and getting on daycare lists ASAP.  It can be hard to find an open spot.

Post # 11
Member
2738 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

temeculabride :  Hi there! If you live in Temecula I actually work here and live close by 🙂 I used to have a professional job working from home and I picked up a part time nanny job M-F mornings. I actually was paid $8/HR because we did everything under the table and they were super flexible with my schedule. 

I think you might be able to find a really really good nanny in the area for $15/HR if you are doing under the table. Obviosuly, it wouldn’t be good to hire someone for much less bc it would be a red flag they’d be willing to work for less. 

I hope you find a good solution. I’m currently pregnant and I totally understand the stress of living her with high mortgages and cost of living. I hope you find a good solution!

Post # 12
Member
2738 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

SLOBee :  yes this is a good thing to consider. One of the reasons I’m not working after giving birth is daycare schedules. I work at an office with a very limited schedule with no flexibilty. I only get 7 holidays off and I get a max of 10 days of vacation with 5 sick days. I would have to miss more work than that with a baby so my current job wouldn’t be a good fit with a little one.

Post # 14
Member
9349 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

LO’s been in an in-home daycare since I went back to work (he was 7 months). It’s the best! He’s become so close to the other kids (4 others) and since they’re all older than him, I feel like he’s learned so much from them. We’re moving out of state next month and I’m so sad he has to leave. 🙁

Post # 15
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee

We started our daughter in a nanny share at ~6 months. She started daycare at 19 months.

Nanny share

Pros

– Having someone come to you is amazing.  Now that we have crazy mornings coordinating morning drop off and work schedule, I realize just how easy it was to have everyone come to our place. We were particularly lucky because we did the nanny share 100% out of our home (the other family just didn’t have the space, more on this later). The convenience cannot be beat!

– Personalized attention for the baby.  Our arrangement was 2 babies for 1 nanny and I think that was the best of both worlds: my LO got a lot of hands-on attention but she also had a companion to interact with and also had to learn to share attention (which is a good lesson to learn)

– More flexible schedule. This depends on the nanny/arrangement but we could chooose our days off, choose the overall hours and ask the nanny to stay longer on certain days (for extra pay of course)

Cons

– Generally more expensive than a daycare.  In our case, this is not actually true because our daycare is extremely pricy, but in general nannies cost more (understandably!)

– Nanny sick/off days mean you aren’t going to work!  I had to take a bunch of vacation time between my nanny’s sick days, vacation days and various unpaid leave requests.  So the flexibility of the schedule has major downsides

– You are essentially running a daycare in your home, so you need all the gear for both babies. We had an extra crib in our room, an extra high chair, double stroller, masses of bottles, extra clothes and toys for the other baby….its a ton of stuff so you must have the space.

– Along similar lines, since I knew if I was taking my baby to someone’s home every day I’d want to see it spotless, I was obsessive about keeping our place clean, which meant an exhausing round of cleaning every night.  We ran our dishwasher every weeknight for a year.

– If you are the sole host, you may end up spending a little more than the other family.  We set up an arrangement where we’d alternate monthly on who bought groceries for the babies/nanny but ultimately, both babies and the nanny were open to whatever food we had in the fridge.  If I cooked something special for my LO, of course I made enough for everyone.  If the other family ran out of diapers mid-week, while the nanny would remind them to restock, she’d also just use ours (and ditto other baby supplies).  

Day care

Pros

– Interaction wiht other kids. My LO has really thrived in an environment with lots of other kids.  Sharing, personal boundaries, how to make friends – all of this comes from a lot of exposure to other kids.

– Professional teachers/carers.  This depends on your nanny’s education/background as well as the kind of daycare you put your child in but I really like the formalized “curriculum” htey offer and feel like my daughter is learning so much.

– Less variability in schedule.  As I mentioned, you are at the mercy of your nanny for sick days, vacation requests etc Having a set number of days you need coverage for and leaving schedue managment to the school is grea.

– It is quite nice to have our home “back” so to speak – we had the other family and the nanny in and out of our place, in practically every room.

Cons

– Way less personalized attention. This is why I prefer daycare when the baby is a little older and more self-sufficient (e.g. can communicate some of their needs)

– Less opportunity to customize the care your child is receiving.  With a nanny we could request schedule changes (e.g. please put LO down for 3 naps instead of 2), could control the kind of activities they did, could monitor meals more closely…. With daycare, if something doesn’t work for your child, either they have to adjust or you take them out.

I am currently pregnant with my second and already hope/plan to have a similar arrangement: nanny share from when I go back to work until ~18 months and then daycare after. 

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