Post # 1
ok so call me naive but i thought that getting married was just that, you put on a cute dress and went and married the man you love.
I didn’t realize that you have to invite your best friend from childhood who you haven’t seen in forever, but their brother is born around the same time as your brother and their sister used to live with your sister, so if you don’t invite this entire family who has had nothing to do with you for 4 or 5 years there is going to be all out war. Even if they don’t reply or give any recognition to the xmas cards you sent?
Also why do you have to invite your mums two best friends and feel obliged to invite your dads best friend and his wife because they invited you to their wedding 6 years ago?
Or that you are inviting an old friend who you haven’t seen since her brother tried to kill you at her wedding 3 years ago.
So you have to add an extra god knows how many ppl to make everyone else happy that just keep bumping up the catering bill, when all you want to do is have have your father give you away and everyone else can jump in the lake.
I do not live in a trailer park, nor live in the slums, why is this such a drama?
Post # 3
I’m sorry you are having problems. No one ever tells you that weddings are full of drama no matter who you are. Are you the one paying for the catering? If so, then you are within your rights to cut down the guest list so you don’t go into bankruptcy over the wedding. Just try to make the best of the planning because it is your wedding after all!
Post # 4
thanks, thats the thing both sets of parents are wanting to chip in but i feel bad about taking the money, its like is it rude to have the wedding reception cost as much as you give us or is it rude to refuse and run off and get married.
i mean its only a small wedding (less than 50) but we are doing it within 8 months of getting engaged and i’m not a planner so its doing my head in.
i want to get rid of the food not so much because of the cost but because it was hard enough to find someone to marry us and i still have no location.
that and i thought a cute tea party would be nice for a mid morning wedding, but apparently that isn’t enough food to fill the men up according to my mother so its like what we have to feed everyone t-bone?????
i’m getting married and i’m expected to make sure that you as an adult are fed for the day?
are we in war time russia? did i miss something here????
Post # 5
I think having a midmorning wedding and an early reception would be a great idea and a great way to cut costs. If you aren’t at dinner time, people aren’t going to expect to be completely filled up by the reception meal.
Post # 6
thank you, i will print this out and give it to my mother. so she can see it is not like it used to be weddings can be whatever.
to be honest the morning tea is more of a ruse, my side of the family drink ALOT and the actions are not cool and my darling man and i really don’t want there antics messing up our day. (think horrific falls and always always trips to hospital – think 9 broken bones, including back-on one person- and still drinking within 2 months of it happening)
after reading some of these posts i think we were right with out gut feeling to go for a small, non sit down food, dry wedding.
Post # 7
There are quite a few people on here that are planning dry weddings! You aren’t the only one. But having it not at dinner would make it easier for people to understand that you aren’t serving alcohol.
Post # 8
that is actually the first thing my mother said when i mentioned the whole morning tea thing.
“but that means we can’t drink”.
not that would be nice dear or whatever the heck it is supportive ppl say.
thank god other ppl are doing it!!!! thank you so much, you have no idea – actually you probably do!this is just doing my head in. i’ve been trying to plan and nothing is happening, ppl say they will help but they don’t. so glad i found this site!!! everyone elses dramas are helping and so are you!!!! 🙂
Post # 9
The guest list is always the most difficult, for just about all brides, I think.
For us, this strategy is currently working: We made a “master list” of everyone we could POSSIBLY want to invite (or even not want to, but feel like we have to). That number, of course, was huge. From that master list, we’re making cuts where “appropriate.” Not that it makes cutting people easy, but it does make it easier to see who the high-priority guests are.
And don’t worry about people wanting to drink—they can live without alcohol for one night. Your wedding is about your union not about their ability to get drunk at the reception. Maybe having a dry wedding will help remind them of that fact!
Post # 10
So sorry SuzieG! It totally unfair that that your family and friends are putting all this undo stress on you! It is your wedding and a celebration of your love. It should include those people who have be a part of your relationship. Everyone who is invited to your wedding should in some way be a part of your lives (in a meaningful way) and what you described…is not that.
You, however, should also consider if sticking to your feelings (not wanting to invite certain people) and how that will make your family feel. If you choose not to invite your mom/dad’s best friends, how will that make your parents feel? It may be worth it to invite those people (in a way, a wedding is a celebration for your parents too!) then to hurt your parents’ feelings.
Post # 11
Wow….I am kinda in the same situation on inviting people, but nothing to do with food. I am only inviting immediate family members and very close friends. If everyone else has a problem with that, then they can pay for the difference!! Thats what I would say to those that are complaining