Post # 1
I received an email this morning from who I thought was a good friend.
She wants me out of her wedding because I didn’t email her back soon enough! She sent a series of emails last week about flying into Boston for another wedding from across the country and to schedule the bridesmaids to try on dresses at 10am in three weeks.
In one of email replies, I stated that it would depend on the time and date etc. I didn’t get back to her because I live on the other part of the state (2+hours away) and was in the process of coordinating with people who live over there to stay with them that night because I (her too) have another friends bridal shower that Sunday morning. (Mind you it has only been a week!)
Some other points about this situation:
- She got engaged in July and is planning a wedding from across the country to back home in MA.
- I got engaged in December and asked her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man with an out because of the distance/time/money issue and she declined which was totally understandable and I have no problem with that.
- I decided to get married in July (before hers in October) and she sent jealous text messages about me getting married before her to me by ACCIDENT!
- She is having her bachelorette party in Vegas and was pissed that I wouldn’t commit to her sister with a definite answer on non confirmed dates and costs of such an event (which is ridiculous in my opinion). I always said I was unsure, because I can’t operate my life around months and huge price ranges!
- There was no follow up text or phone call regarding the email last week about the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses. In my mind, if I really needed an answer so quickly I would just call or text the person to find out the deal.
- Last weekend another Bridesmaid or Best Man in her wedding flew out to visit her. I’m suspicious that they are in cahoots with each other because I received a call from this girl to chat? (We never chat, but are friends) I had assigned one of my BM’s to invite both of them to my bachelorette party in June because they are mutual friends with them. They had not done so yet and she is hurt for not being formally invited. I had gone ahead and gotten in contact with non-mutual friends of my BM’s about the event already to save them the trouble of emailing strangers.
This is the end of the email:
“I am trying to do the same and am starting to feel like it would be best for our friendship if you came to my wedding as a guest instead of being a bridesmaid. I still love you and want to keep our friendship.. and the way things are going right now I am nervous that we will not remain friends through all of this. I hope that you understand.”
Yikes, I don’t even know what to think anymore! I was going to send a reply email back but decided to do it over the phone instead tomorrow. She has obviously bad mouthed me to her friends and I’m not even sure I would feel comfortable even attending her wedding anymore let alone inviting her to mine!
Unfortunately, I will encounter her at a mutual friends wedding shower in a month and that same friend’s wedding….ughhh, I hate uncomfortable situations!
Sorry! I just needed to vent!!!
Post # 3
Oh you poor thing! When people get married, your friendship strength gets tested. Honestly, and I know she’s your friend, this girl sounds like a giant Bridezilla and I think your life will be much less stressful by not being involved with her. Good luck to you!
Post # 4
I think you should call not email or text because emails and texts are very hard to understand emotional wise, you may have read what she said but got a different take than what she was saying, she may have really been sincere and with emails and texts you cant feel that. Call her tommorrow and let her know that you are sorry about her decision but your respect that becuase her friendship is important. Remember she is probarly just a stress as you may be you both are brides, and brides including me would like everyone to be make every event , every meeting and we do hve to realize our friends have lives too. So just call her I jope this helps
Post # 5
I’m going to call her, thats the plan now. I totally understand the “emotional tone” is hard to get accross in an email.
Another issue is that she’s jelous that I’m enjoying and having a great time planning my own wedding and she can’t decide on a thing and is picking out everything virtually through websites/phone calls/others reviews.
YES! She definitly is a bridezilla. It will be less stressful by not being in her wedding, but I feel insulted and hurt to say the least by what is transpiring.
Post # 6
Honestly, you sound like you will be much better off without all that drama.
Post # 7
Wow. I agree with @missfireslayer. That doesn’t exactly sound like the best friend in the world.
Of course, jealousy and wedding-induced narcissism are most likely at play here, but, that’s just ridiculous.
I would call her, tell her that you think the nature of your friendship has changed, and not for the better, and explain that you are unsure about whether or not to even call it a friendship?
Post # 8
wow the part about her sending you that text message by mistake made me go ”ooooooo”
Post # 9
I think you dodged a bullet. Just enjoy the rest of your planning stress free.
Post # 10
crazy! she is obviously so wrapped in herself right now she doesnt realize what she is doing! and will possibly regret it later. seriously, i cant believe people get like that! i had to hound my BMs in the last week before the ordering deadline to try on dresses. as stressed as it got me, i never once considered taking them out as being BMs! one Bridesmaid or Best Man really pushed it and ordered her dress too late and had to put a rush on it. but even then, had she not got her dress on time, i would have thought it sucked, but she would have simply been in the wedding wearing whatever lavender dress she could find off the rack! (of course i never told her this, lol).
but anyway, i am sorry you are going through this. like others have said, you are probably better off without the drama!
Post # 11
I think its better for you anyway to just focus on your wedding. I think when weddings are close together its a bit tricky to be someones bridesmaid right before or right after yours. There will be conflicts because you have different priorities
Post # 12
Thank you all for your comments! Your making me feel so much better about this horrible situation.
Post # 13
its truly sad how you think you know someone until a life chaning event,via… wedding, funeral, baby. My motto is people dont change in time they will show you the real them and the real them is who they have alwasy been, but we never see it becuase it was never directed at us.
Focus on your wedding be happy and enjoy being a beautiful bride
Post # 14
sounds like a demanding unaccomadating high maintenace bitch to me fu** the fuss.
Post # 15
Sounds like being her bridesmaid would be alot of drama. She probably did you a favor. Enjoy planning your wedding!
Post # 16
WOW…consider yourself lucky if she’s like this now imagine what she’s belike closer to the date. She’s probably right had you continued in the wedding you probably would have hated her by the end causing the end of your friendship.. regardless, it always sucks to be hurt by a friend.