(Closed) De-friended a friend on FB and now she says I’m homophobic…ERR!!

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I really don’t know what to tell you. Maybe just give it time?? Honestly I’m shocked people still post things like that. How old is she???

Post # 4
Member
384 posts
Helper bee

You were wise to defriend her.  You have to think about what people in your professional circle might think of you.  Not that it makes it right, but that’s how it works.  Like you said, I am talking straight on straight, gay on gay, straight on gay.   Whatever it is – it doesn’t matter. 

Employers check facebook.  Always remember that.

Post # 5
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Yeah I personally prefer my FB page to be PG. I have some younger cousins who post lewd and inappropriate pictures adn status updates, but luckily they never comment on my stuff otherwise I would probably defriend them.

Post # 7
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee

As mentioned above, it sounds like the only thing you can do is give it time. You spoke your peace, so to say, and clarified why you de-friended her. It’s up to her if she wants to believe what you told her or the theory she came up with herself. 

Post # 9
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

You probably should have just hid her posts rather than defriending her. Hindsight is 20/20, and it’s too late now. I would just try explaining to her again that you don’t want to see that sexually explicit of pictures from any of your friends…gay, straight, bi…whatever.

Post # 10
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Yeaaa I’d definitely defriend that too.  She just sounds like she’s looking for a reason to feel persecuted.  Like she was taking the pictures for attention and since you didn’t give that attention to her by saying ‘oh you two are sooo beautiful’ she FORCED you to give her some kind of attention by calling you a homophobe. 

I’d let it go for now, if you know you’re not homophobic I wouldn’t worry about it.  Any rational person will understand your reasoning.  I defriend people for much lesser crimes.

Post # 11
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@2PeasinaPod: even if you hide her posts if she posted on OP’s wall someone would still see the dirty profile pic there =/

Post # 12
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

She may be so used to other people actually having a problem with her sexual orientation, that she can’t tell the difference between bigotry and (I want to say prudeness, but that’s not quite the word but you understand what I mean?).

She may have to fend off so many people giving her a hard time just about being gay that she can’t separate that from someone who is uncomfortable seeing her and her SO naked on a daily basis.  (Honestly I am creeped out just typing that…ew.)

Post # 13
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

@murmur: True…and that’s definitely not something that I would want on my wall either.

Post # 14
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I totally understand why you would be uncomfortable. I would be too!! I think it was good to defriend her. Just give it time, let her know you dont have an issue with her lifestyle etc you just dont want to see those images. Im sorry she reacted this way to you.

Post # 15
Member
2084 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1993

I think because your response was linked to the sexuality of her pictures, she has linked them to her sexuality. You’ve justified your reasons by qualifying that if it was a guy she’d have been with you’d have done the same.

If you don’t want to see those pictures then, of course, you shouldn’t have to. You’ve made it clear that your decision wasn’t based on orientation. Please don’t beat yourself up about it. Personally, I’d have just blocked her posts, but what’s done is done. You’ve told her your reasons, so unless you feel the need to elaborate on them, leave it be. In time, REAL conversation (E.g., on the phone, in person etc) will resolve this; FB is always the cause, but never the solution.

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