Post # 17
I’m not saying you should throw over your mum and best friend, but you can’t let them rule your life. If this man makes you happy, then be with him. If your mum gets too difficult, than find somewhere else for her to live. That doesn’t mean you can’t help her out as much as possible, but sometimes two people can’t live in the same house.
I think once he proposes, I’d buy a fab dress and elope. Don’t even tell anyone about the engagement until you get back, married. 😉
Post # 18
Wow. If you go thru life living it for the benefit of others, you will NEVER be happy. You have to make decisions in your life based on what it is that you need. Not taking away from th importance of the people in your life but hey should want you to be happy and whether you believe happy is with this man or mickey mouse…they should support you.
Post # 19
Oh and by the way…welcome to the bee.
Post # 20
Thank you 🙂
I’ll talk to him about eloping and let you know!
Post # 21
hi i know this must be difficult.our parents did so much for us and gave up so much that we cant bare to betray them.but u kn what u have a life of ur own.if u allow your family and friends to dictate ur happiness u’ll end up sad and lonely like they are.am sure deep down somewhere ur friend wishes she had what u have.we all are looking for it and once u have found it and u believe its true love u better hold on to it and enjoyn it.life is fleeting and if u can enjoy ur life while u are full of hope dont le anyone stop u.the nxt option is to be miserable like ur mom(no offense ment) so have that serious womanly talk with ur mom it may be hard but she might respect u in the end. good luck and if he does propose be happy alot of us on here are hoping for when it might happen to us.
Post # 22
I agree. Elope and spend the money that you would have used on the wedding for an AWESOME honeymoon. Enjoy the calm before the storm.
So sorry that you don’t have more supportive people in your life. Here’s hoping they come around.
Post # 23
Hey, still here. Thought I’d pop in for an update. Things are humming along the same as they have been.
We’ve spoken about it a lot over the last few months and we definitely have eloping on the cards at the moment 🙂 We could use our savings to get mum out of the house and onto her own. I think some tough love is in order.
Thank you for all your support. I love this board!
Post # 24
Look, I think you need to take a decision… do you want to be happy, or not? Because if you do, negative people need to be pushed out of your life! You have met this fantastic guy who you love and… are you willing to risk it all over a nasty “friend” and a whiney mom?
I was in your same position and you know what I did? I dumped them BOTH. I don’t know if you are the religious type but if you are… remember what was written in the Bible? Mark 10:8 And the two will become one flesh!
Are you going to allow your mom to talk smack about him? Defend him, fight for him, show him you love him!
No blood ties should come in between. Or… it ain’t real love.
Post # 25
I forgot to add… you DESERVE a wedding like anybody else. If your mom, his family or your “besty” won’t be there, well, somebody else WILL. Or do you only know 2 people to invite?
Mine will be a wedding with only my best friends… I’m not going to have my mom or my former besty spoil it, thanks. Since when I dumped them I’ve never been happier.
Happiness requires *courage*.
Post # 26
Will you still live with your mother after you’re married? Maybe she’s terrified of losing you.
As for the best friend thing, both me and my fi lost a few close friends when we started dating, because they were jealous. There’s a lot of people who hate it when people date, because it means less time for them with their friend. I lost my best friend, and just now 5 years later we are finally speaking again.
If you two are happy, you have to do what’s right for the two of you. You deserve to be happy. If your mother can’t accept that, it’s her problem. It’s her role to support you, and if she doesn’t, go off and be happy. Don’t give up!
Post # 27
I’m on the eloping bandwagon. BUT, You don’t even have to go somewhere else to get married, and you DON”T have to sacrifice your perfect day. You can buy your dream wedding dress, get your man a tux, get a beautiful bouquet, bring a couple good friends with you and go to the courthouse… then everyone can go to dinner afterwards.
You could hire a photographer for a couple hours, it wouldn’t be as expensive – esp. if it’s not on a Saturday, you could even have a cake delivered to the restaurant. It would be personal, and something just about you two.
It sounds like you have to worry about a lot of other people all the time, make it about the two of you, and not other people.
Post # 28
I think eloping would be a great idea. Then you can get married without having to deal with any unnecessary stress from others. You would save a ton of money, and you could even go to a destination you’ve dreamed of going to just the two of you and get married there and then spend the rest of the week having a perfect honeymoon before you come back and talk to anyone else. The wedding should be about the two of you and celebrating the love you share, and nobody has the right to take that away from you. I really hope things get better for you!
Post # 29
I have a lot of family disapproval as well, and while it’s natural to want your family’s support, as do i, some people just won’t come around. Try to surround yourself with people that love and support you, and be open to them if your mom and best friend try to turn over a new leaf.
Post # 30
@gionetto – I hear you. I do deserve the wedding of my dreams. We do have other friends who would turn up, and I do have cousins who would attend. We are thinking of just eloping nearby, nowhere far. And then inviting people we know support us. So yes, it would be a wedding with a dress and loved ones. It’d just be a bit further away so nobody gatecrashes during the “does anyone ojbect?”… it’d more than likely be his mum to do that btw. Hah! We also want something very small/intimate.
If I didn’t have courage I wouldn’t even be at this stage. So I’d like to think that I’m taking control of my life. Reading stories on this board and discussing this has really given me inspiration to take control and not miss out on the adventure of a lifetime.
So thank you 🙂
Post # 31
Wishing you a lot of happiness with your guy. I think it is a great idea to do a quasi eloping with close family who are happy for you and then to begin your lives together. I hope your mom turns around soon, because it would be sad for her to be hateful to the man who makes her daughter so happy. Keep us updated!