Post # 1
When we initially started planning what the groomsmen would wear the Fiance knew he would rather them wear suits than a tux. So we initially thought that they could all just wear a dark suit they each already owned. Well once we actually got a look at each suit, some were old, i think one had a stain, one had a hole. Some pretty run down suits.
We then started thinking of renting suits instead. Well turns out buying a suit is not really that much more expensive than renting. And you get to keep it (which some of these boys could use an upgrade). So Fiance asked all the guys if that was ok with them. All around he received yes’s. So the hunt was on to find a reasonably priced suit.
We found a sale at Jos A Bank for a regularly priced $550 suit for $140. So Fiance ran the price by them and everyone ONCE AGAIN gave the ok.
One of the groomsman is very good friends with several of the bridesmaids. Apparently every chance he gets he complains about this suit that he was FORCED into buying. He makes comments about men needing to be able to stand up to their fiance’s. He’s also has another wedding coming up for his brother which he is criticizing b/c they are doing an outdoors wedding, so naturally he thinks that’s ‘redneck’. He also made comments about pretty much every detail of every wedding that he’s been asked to stand in.
It really hurts my feelings about this entire situation. One of our priorities was to try our hardest not to ask too much out of the wedding party and be as reasonable as possible with costs they would incur. We’ve also checked before making any decisions with everyone of our 10 person bridal party (5 guys 5 girls), and every time they all give us the greenlight. I really just dont want people to be unhappy and burdened. I’m stressed out. I don’t know what else we could do to make this guy happy.
Fiance is not at all concerned. He’s just kind of saying ‘well when I asked he said yes, so he’ll get over it’. I wish I could feel that way too.
Any advice on how to handle this? I kind of think just staying out of it since he’s been the one communicatin with the groomsmen is the best bet. Maybe I just needed to vent on here a bit
Post # 3
@Petunia123: Venting on that is totally okay! I would be super frustrated too, and I cannot stand when people go along with things and then talk behind your back about it!
I think you’re right to just let it be. Did he buy the suit already? If so, I’d just let it go and think that maybe he just feels the need to vent about something, and that’s what he’s choosing. If he says anything directly to you or your Fiance I would just approach it calmly and say “if you weren’t comfortable with it, or you didn’t like it I really wish you would have said something, we would have accomodated you” because like you said, you checked each and every time there was a decision!
Post # 4
Some people just like to complain. He said he was ok with it to you guys and that’s what matters. Try to ignore the rest; you’re not being unreasonable at all.
Post # 5
@Jenniferk6: Totally agree. Some people do just find something to complain about no matter what you present to them.
Have one of the bridesmaids say back to him, “would you rather spend $140 on something you have to give back?” Take your FI’s advice and not worry about it. He’ll get over it, and if he ever says something to you about it, punch him in the face!
Post # 6
Grr, that’s frustrating. You’ve been more than accommodating, he just sounds like a whiner. I’d let it go, but if he does say something to you, I’d follow @nmeyer01:‘s advice, then @2PeasinaPod:‘s 🙂 He’s a big boy, he can suck it up.
Girls buy dresses that aren’t always flattering to them, pay to alter them, and wear them once. Why would he bitch about buying a suit rather than renting one? If anything, he can sell it when it’s over to recoup some cash…dumb boy.
Post # 7
@indibee: EXACTLY! girls wear some of the most unflattering dresses just because it’s what the “bride” wants (which is why i got my girl’s budgets and let them pick out their own!), he can’t buy a suit that there’s a 99% chance it looks great on him? silly boys!
Post # 8
Try hard not to let him hurt your feelings… it sounds like you’re not the only girl he has issue with. You’re being WAY more accommodating than most couples by verifying multiple times that the whole wedding party was ok with ideas/prices.
If you want to get the word to him that you’re hur tby it, mention it to one of your BM’s– this guy should know that his actions are hurting others that are close to him! If you don’t care if he knows, keep it to yourself and know that even if he’s pouting in pics, at least his clothes will look good
Post # 9
Thanks ladies! That’s pretty much what my bridesmaids have been saying. That the complainy one needs to just suck it up and that he’s just digging to find something to wine about. We’re going to be crashing at his place this weekend, so it will be interesting to see if he actually brings up his ‘concern’ to us or not.
I’m betting he doesn’t.
Post # 10
@nmeyer01: Same here. I said ‘here’s your color, fabric, and length, go crazy.’ They can pick their own budget and feel good about their choice. The guys are buying suits (whether they think their’s is already fine, they won’t ever wear it again, etc, etc) because it’s only as much (if not cheaper) than renting a tux.
Plus, there’s no “oh crap, did all the guys pack up each piece of the rental tux to return at Noon the next day” hassle. It’s their suit now. Throw it in the corner, lose the tie to some hottie on the dance floor, I really don’t care 🙂