Post # 1
I am a BM/MOH in two weddings this year. One this weekend and one in October.
My October bride, due to a very rude lady at a bridal salon(while I was trying on dresses for my wedding) is now feeling very stressed and unprepared for everything. This is normal.
However she’s gone from being my calm, rational best friend to slightly more neurotic. Right now her current obession is finding the exact perfect shade of salmon/coral. Seems easy enough, right? Nope. There is literally not one designer who makes that shade she is looking for.
I’ve suggested using one of her other color choices as the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses and using the coralish color as an accent but she just want have it.
She is now pushing the rest of the maids over the edge with her quest to find this color dress.
Should I tell her, politely of course, she is being a headcase or do I just ride this one out console the girls and hope she figures out what she wants? Any suggestions or advice?
It’s her day and I want it to be perfect for her but I totally miss my calm, cool and collected bff.
Post # 3
@SweetHoneyBee: Is she a good enough friend to tell her shes being a nutcase? if not just ride it out. If she gets too obsessed find out what is really freaking her out, may be more to it than the right shade of colour.
Post # 4
Cut her some slack. Unless there is more to the story, it doesn’t seem like she is being rude to any of you and doesn’t really deserve to be called a nutcase. Planning weddings are STRESSFUL and the stress can consume the best of us. Take her out for a drink and offer your ear, and your help. I am sure it would help relax her to take her mind off of the wedding, and simply offering your help could make a world of difference.
Post # 5
I’m wondering if there’s more to the story too and she just hasn’t been able to sit down and tell me. She is one of my absolute best friends. We’ve been friends since 2nd grade. I know weddings are stressful but this is so uncharacteristic of her. Up until this point she has been calm, cool and collected and hasn’t really cared about the details mostly because she doesn’t care about the wedding. The wedding is something their families are wanting. She and her fiance were perfectly happy eloping.
Being her Maid/Matron of Honor I have been by her side through all of this and I haven’t once seen her freak out over anything.
I’m actually afraid if we don’t find this exact perfect shade she’s looking for she might implode.
Post # 6
There’s probably more to the story even though you don’t know. If you are really that good of friends you should talk with her and see if there is anything else going on or maybe ask her if there is anything you can do to help find this color? Can you get a color swatch or something that she is trying to match and then look into dyealbes? Does she actually have a piece of the color she wants or is this a “vision”? If it’s a “vision” then she’s not going to like anything no matter where she looks.
Post # 7
Just be supportive for now. If the color is that rare she will eventually give up and try to use another color.
Post # 8
Well she had a swatch of what she considers the perfect color. When we went to the stores the dresses obviously looked extremely different due to the lighting, the type of fabric, etc.
I explained this to her and she understood. There were even some close matches but after the bridal store employee told her she needed to order Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses 9 months in advance she began obsessing about this specific color. Now I think she has this vision of a color vs an actual legitimate color and dress in mind.
Post # 9
Maybe some one made a comment about the other shades. For example, when shopping for a wedding I’m in soon- the little lady helping us said that she liked the “new red” shade better because the other one looked like “hooker red”…..guess what color the bride wont consider now?
Post # 10
@SweetHoneyBee: Maybe ask her for the swatch she was using and see what you can do with it? Unless you have already tried? Sorry wish I had better advice. Being totally obsesive with my royal blue color I can relate to her but I had a swatch and eventually found the same color for the dresses but I had to spend a lot of time looking.
Post # 11
@SweetHoneyBee: I agree with @Snow2bunny: Can you look into it and see if you can dye a dress to match the colour?
Keep us updated! :0)
Post # 12
maybe you could suggest she looks for a steamstress to make the dresses? that way it can be the exact shade and style she wants and she can relax I understand budget might be a factor but its worth looking around
Post # 13
I def went a bit nurotic with the Groomsmen ties. I wanted the one exactly and no shop seemed to have more than like one of them and I was short and it was a huge fiasco, but I got my ties. Let her keep hunting…If she asks if you found anything that shade you can say no.
Post # 14
The dressmaking is an option but I don’t know how well it will work budget wise. All of the girls are buying their own dresses. Another maid and myself are planning our own weddings so of course we have budget constraints and one is still in high school. I’ll see if I can’t get her swatch and find something.
Thanks for the suggestions and letting me vent!