(Closed) Dealing with an ex when you live in the same small town

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
2530 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This won’t be answering your questions, sorry, but what I did get from this was – I wonder how her current OH felt about the fact that she was upset to see her ex and his new fiancée and had to leave the restaurant…poor man!

Post # 4
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I live in a really small town Fiance and I both grew up here and we both run into exes all the time. I see 2 of my exes every day when I pick my kids up from daycare. Usually one of us says hey how are you as we pass and thats about it. Same with Fiance, if he runs into an ex they just say hey in passing. I agree with PP I feel bad from the guy, sounds like she was just being a drama queen.

Post # 5
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee

We live in my FI’s tiny hometown (700 people lol) and EVERY TIME we go to the grocery store, his “ex” is there. I use quotation marks because they were never officially together; they went on one date but she was in love with him. But usually Fiance says a casual, “hey, how are you?” And its done. Since I’ve been around wearing an engagement ring, she doesn’t say anything anymore, usually just offers a small smile at him and moves on.

But I asked Fiance about this, and he said he had no desire to compete with his exes. He said it can get hard to move on, especially because everyone knows your business! Fiance was married before and his ex-wife started dating while they were going through a divorce. Fiance said he didn’t feel the need to compete but once you’ve been with one person for so long, you want that relationship stability, so he felt pressure to find someone. If both people are mature, there shouldn’t be drama though. Just say a casual, “Hi” and keep walking. 

Post # 7
Member
2733 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

browneyedgirl86:  I cannot believe she said she wished he would get shot! How absolutely horrific of her! I’m glad you don’t let her bother you. We live in a small town but neither of us had very long term relationships besides each other so our exes aren’t so serious or a huge source of heartache. We’re good friends with one of his exes, my sister is good friends with one of mine so we see them often. Others we see in passing since it is such a small town but we don’t give it much thought. There’s one girl that caused a lot of issues in our relationship and she works at the local ice cream shop that we love to go to (it was our first date) so it’s hard to avoid her but it reaaallllly bothers me everytime he politely says hi (I respect him being polite but gosh I wish he’d just ignore her!)

Post # 8
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

browneyedgirl86:  I have the feeling this woman would be acting like this, no matter the town size. With things like Facebook, it’s ridiculously easy to check an ex’s relationship status. Hell, if you have mutual friends, it probably is ocassionally strewn across your own news feed whether you wanted to know or not.

Unbalanced is unbalanced – which this person clearly is.

Post # 9
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I’m glad to hear your Fiance has the right attitude about her. So sad for her that she’s obviously still got issues if she feels the need to insert herself into his life and got so upset that she had to leave the restaurant. No matter what’s going on with her, it sounds like you have nothing to worry about. 

We don’t exactly live in a small town, but we live very close to where my Fiance and his ex-wife grew up. It’s more like a series of interconnected small towns. She only lives about 15-20 minutes from us so I do wonder what will happen if we run into each other. Despite the fact that she cheated on him before and after the wedding, left him for the other guy and got pregnant, then had an abortion and went back to my Fiance before finally leaving him and marrying the other guy, she thinks they’re still friends or something. There’s a free summer concert series in our town and I’d love to be there tonight, but we know from mutual friends that she and her family go every week and I really don’t want to deal with the awkwardness of seeing them.  She even texted my Fiance a few weeks ago to invite him to go. Ugh! He has no desire to be friends but has to remain friendly until she finishes paying him back for their wedding loan. This whole thing makes me so glad my ex has moved away!

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