Post # 1
My fiance is originally from Vietnam, but has been living in the US for 13 years and will continue to live here for the rest of his life.
His family is still mostly over there and a wedding over there is mandatory – which i’m totally OK with. His family will be planning everything and we won’t have to pay for anything, so that’s nice, but they keep pressuring me to move it up a year to Dec. 2017 as opposed to Dec. 2018 which is when we originally decided to have it. His parents keep saying I can think about it and make the final decision, but every time I let them know I definitely want it in 2018 after our U.S. wedding is over, they hint that they want it a year sooner. I’m in the middle of planning my wedding in the U.S. and have already planned a big trip for 2017, and honestly, don’t want to deal with the pressure of taking more time off work this year and worrying about going over there on top of all of that. I would also want to be legally married in the U.S. before I have the Vietnamese wedding (for peace of mind and legal reasons) but that would mean legally being married for a solid 7 months before my American wedding. I don’t know if this is something normal to be stressing about or if I should just let the Vietnamese wedding happen this year. Any insight and advice would be appreciated!
Post # 2
LindseyinAtlanta : I had an international wedding, so I understand your concerns. But for me it was the other way around- wedding in my own country before the US one. The way we got around it was, we only did the religious ceremony and party over there, and then the legal marriage in the US.
Anyhow, no one should pressure you into ANYTHING! Don’t let this wedding become about them, and not you. There is absolutely no way someone could make me get married FIRST in a foreign country, which is not my home. Stand your ground, bee. Just explain to them for work, legal and other reasons, it’s impossible to make it happen that way.
Just a thought, could you make it happen a few months earlier in 2018, for their peace of mind? I understand they might want it to be a bit sooner, and not feel completely left behind and ‘a second thought ‘ way after the western wedding.
But, if not possible, don’t worry about it. Be firm.
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center
When is your U.S. wedding? I understand their point of view that it shouldn’t be too distant from the legal wedding because it sort of defeats the purpose. I don’t know how religious/traditional they are, but the reason they might be pushing for an earlier date is because in his family’s eyes, you guys will be living together before you are “actually” or “religiously” married according to their customs.