(Closed) Dealing with conflicting family rules re: who gets a plus one

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I personally think it’s nice to be allowed to bring a date to a wedding (even if it’s one the bride and groom don’t know).  But, that said, since you don’t want to have people you don’t know at the wedding, just tell him ‘no’.

Post # 4
Member
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009 - Red Fish Grill

It sounds like a tough situation.  I’d say, if all of the essential/close relatives and friends on both sides have been accounted for and you have the space, let them bring guests.  (Sometimes you have to pick your battles, and this might be one to bend on.)  You’ll want to make it clear, though, (in as nice a way as you can) that you’re sticking to your previously set guidelines for the rest of the guest list.

You might find it better for your mister’s younger cousin to be entertained by one of his "random bimbos" than to have him prowling around your single girlfriends.  We ended up allowing a +1 for a friend just to avoid that very circumstance! We figured, at the end of the night, we wanted all of our guests to enjoy themselves.  You can always strategically seat them in a certain area if you’re worried.  :o)

Post # 5
Member
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

if you didn’t want them to have a guest, you should say no.  It’s rude for them to question it.

Post # 6
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I can totally empathize bc Fiance and I have set a similar set of rules. Our budget just won’t allow us to have random people we’ve never met at our wedding, over friends that we had to put on the "maybe" list.

I would stick to my guns on this one because I know that personally, I’d feel resentful and annoyed one of these people show up with a random person–especially a bimbo! I always remind myself that regardless of who is paying for the wedding (FI and I, and som from our parents), WE are the ones getting married and this is the one day I should be allowed to invite/not invite whomever I want. 

 

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