- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
Ok, newlywed here.
Are there any bees who have wildly different sleeping schedules from their Fiance or husband? I am a teacher and school starts at 7:05 (which is insane, right?! High schoolers aren’t awake at that time either!). I sleep from 10 to 5. The new hubby has a normal bank job and gets up at 7, so he doesn’t go to bed until 11 or 12.
The main problem is that if we start cuddling and things get steamy in bed after he gets in it at night, then we are majorly cutting into my sleep time! We had some amazing “sexy time” last night, but I’m afraid I’m going to be regretting it all day as I drag my tired ass through it on 4 hours sleep (and 4 the night before)!
And at the same time, I don’t EVER want to say no to him! “Just say no” is not an option. I don’t have the willpower or the desire to refuse sex, ever. I probably want it more than he does, and we’re newlyweds, damnit! We have a right to an amazing sex life without stupid work schedules screwing it up for us.
Another issue is that I might be becoming dependent on having him in the bed with me to fall asleep–huge problem.
We do sometimes have sex at different times of the day instead of bedtime, so that we can go to sleep separately and still have that connection. Sometimes it’s as soon as he comes home from work at 5 or 6. But still, that’s not every day, and sometimes I don’t get home until 7 or 8. And we never know how we’ll feel when we get in bed together at night, you know? Earlier sex definitely helps, but it’s not a cure-all and not possible every day.
My ideal solution would be for Darling Husband to change his sleep pattern to mine. He could get up at 5 and do the exercise program he’s always putting off starting. We could go to bed together, like a normal married couple, at 9 or 10, and have plenty of time to bet busy AND then sleep. But of course, I can’t force that on him. That would have to be his decision. I would have a hard time getting up at 5 if I didn’t have to. Also, the thing he’s usually doing from 9-11 PM is playing video games online with friends who only play at that time. I don’t want to ask him to give that up because it’s his biggest hobby, and I can tell it makes him happy, but at the same time, if it’s contributing to a problem with our sex life (or my work life), then maybe I should bring it up.
Anyone have any ideas about how to make this work?
*I’m not sure whether to put this in the relationships or intimacy board, but relationships seems to get more people looking at it, I think, so that’s where I’ll stick it. If an admin disagrees, feel free to move it.