(Closed) Dealing with family

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
39 posts

I think you need to have your Fiance deal with his mom here, as long as you two are on the same page. Perhaps even speak with your photographer prior to your wedding date and make a specific list of photos you want and make it clear they are not to deviate from the list? 

Does your Fiance actually want pictures of each individual siblings family?

Call me crazy, but that seems like a lot. Any wedding I’ve been to in the past they’ve just done group shot of the the bride and groom with both sets of immediate family members, then the bride and groom with the bride’s Immediate family and then the bride and groom with the grooms Immediate family, bride and groom with each set of parents and then bride and groom with set of grandparents. If you did it this way then I think it met be a nice gesture to do even just one picture with the bride groom, his mom and step-dad and his step-siblings and their families. 


Post # 3
5092 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
kile916 : I think it may be very difficult to even get all the photos you want.  How many siblings do you each have?  If she wanted family photos of all the adult step children, she should have done that when she was paying for photos at her own wedding.  -Unless she is paying for the photographer for your wedding.  

I would definitely let the photographer know that she doesn’t call the shots on who is having photos taken.  Do you have anyone that can run interference for you?  Perhaps a couple of big, loud groomsmen that will announce who will be up next for photos, and get the groups together-kind of like who’s up next in baseball.  And maybe someone else to run interference with Future Mother-In-Law to keep her from taking over?  

Is there another relative of his with a nice camera that can take photos of the step families, either the night before, or before the time you have set aside for photos?

Post # 4
9439 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

All you should need to to do is inform the photographer, that he is not to take any extra family shots and inform him about the situation with your mother-in-law. You are paying the photographer, you are the bride the photographer shouldn’t have a problem telling anyone else “Nope, sorry I’m here to shoot the wedding not do family photos.

I also think, that your list is a little long, especially given the amount of time that you have. I would cut the extra sibiling/spouse/children photos. If everyone wants to do family photos then they should hire a photographer for a different day when there is time for that. I would cut your list down to immediate family and grandparents only. I honestly, do not think you have the time to do everything else.


Post # 5
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Photographers are very familiar with this kind of dynamic. Mine suggested that if there was any doubt whatsoever that a type A aunt or someone would try to direct her around, that we should print her out a list with who is to be in each picture. That way she can yell out names, direct people around and if anyone says “Oh well we need a picture with Tom, Dick and Harry too!” She can clap back and say it’s not on the list and she works for the bride and groom. 

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